5 benefits of not being the "top" student

For all of my life I have had to work hard for my grades. School has felt like a battlefield. I am constantly fighting to stay on top of things. I work hard and I don't always see the results that I would like. I also have friends and acquaintances that don't have to work nearly as hard. School came naturally to them and they seemed to always do better than me and to spend half the time that I spent working on it. I used to be frustrated by this, but just recently as I was pondering on this topic, I realized that there have been some major benefits from not being the "top" student.  

1. I know how to learn. Because I have had to work hard for nearly every good grade that I got it wasn't a shock to come to college and actually have to work hard at learning. Yes, I did have some ridiculously easy classes in high school, but the honors and AP classes I took were hard for me. I had to spend hours studying to get the concepts down. It wasn't hard for me to transition into college life that requires a lot more studying than most are used to. This also kept me from getting that awful freshman GPA that everyone talks about. 
2. I'm okay with asking for help. I've noticed that because I had accepted the fact that I need help, it doesn't bother me, or hurt my pride to go talk to the professor or TA and get the help that I need. This has been a huge blessing as I have gone throughout my schooling. I have been able to make connections and really learn things. Not just memorize them for a test, but I have learned how to make the knowledge become apart of me and apply it into my life. I have talked with a lot of people that have never been into a TA lab in their life... totally a foreign concept to me. I live in those labs. This also translates into other aspects of my life. I have found that it has helped me learn to ask for help when I need it in more things than just school and many people don't know how to do that because they have never had to. 
3. It's brought me greater perspective. So often school is all about our grades. I have had many instances where I have studied and mastered a topic, but because tests are hard for me I have still done poorly. You may think that I really didn't have it mastered, but in one instance I was literally teaching the whole lab and then still did worse than most there. Testing is just not my thing. This has forced me to remember what I believe knowledge is for. Knowledge is one of the few things that we can take with us after we die, but it's so much more. It's something that gives us depth and understanding of the world. Knowledge gives us the ability to add to a conversation intelligently. Knowledge is what helps us reach our potential. Knowledge allows us to be more understanding of others. There have been many times as I look at my test score that I have to remind myself that there is so much more to life and school than a grade.
4. It has helped me have empathy. When people come to me feeling frustrated about school and feeling like they will never be good enough, I know how they feel. We all experience things differently, but I can understand, to some degree, where they are coming from. I get what it is like to feel hopeless. I get what it is like to feel like you'll never be smart enough. I get it. This is one of those things that it's just not very fun to talk about with someone who has school smarts. It just makes you feel even more dumb. It's good to talk with someone you love and respect but struggles as well. I know it helped me. 
5. I know where true knowledge comes from. Struggling with school has helped me realize that true knowledge comes from God. I believe that God cares about all aspects of our lives, but sometimes He allows us to not do as well as we would like because the lessons from "failing" are greater than the lessons from "succeeding." There have been times that the "failing", or not doing as well as I would like, have taught me significant lessons that have blessed my life and have changed me forever. I would take the things I have learned from those times over good grades every time. I realize that God has a plan for me. He knows the things I need to learn and He will allow me to experience the "failures" in order for me to learn the lessons I need. He is the source of true knowledge. This also helped me realize that whenever I was able to master a concept that this was from God. It wasn't because I'm so smart, but because He was blessing me. It's a lot easier to be humble, when you don't always get the grade you want. 

All of this being said, I don't think I am superior to people who have the gift of school smarts. I think it's great that some people are blessed with that and they learn these principles in other areas of their lives. We all have different gifts and struggles. I just realized, as I reflected on this struggle, that this is something I am grateful for. It changed my perspective from frustration to gratitude.

my big, little brothers

I always knew that I had amazing little brothers, but I didn't fully realize just how blessed I am to have them until I came to college. I have now had several roommates tell me, after I told them something one of them has done for me, that their brothers would never do or say something like that for them... I was kind of blown away. But, it's made me observe them more closely and appreciate how incredibly good they are. So I thought I would pay them a little tribute today because really, they're great.

David William

Yes, he's a weirdy. But a loveable weirdy.

Dave and his unicycle.

• He's hilarious. He has all of these weird little phrases that, honestly, can be obnoxious but they're very endearing and soon enough you find yourself saying them too because they're dang catchy. ex: "YATAH", "This is my worst day!", "Aren't we all?", etc.

• He is an expert unicycler... weird, I know. He is all about getting into random things, but the cool thing is that he really does get into it. He is now a super good unicycler! He actually looks pretty legit while he's doing it too.

• He has excellent taste in clothing. David pretty much always looks good. He's a perfectionist and this shows in the way he dresses. Plus, he's always a good one to run an outfit by to get a boy's perspective. 

• He's always willing to talk to me on the phone, no matter what time of day or night. I have literally used and abused this... I get scared often and usually it's late at night so therefore I give Dave a call. He has talked me through some of my most ridiculous nighttime fears. I was also feeling really sick one morning (we're talking EARLY morning) and I couldn't get a hold of my parents so I called David. He talked to me even though I could tell he was really tired and it helped me calm down a lot (I was kind of freaking out because I hate throwing up... surprise, surprise.)

The term "little" just doesn't seem right now...

• He is very free with his complements. I can't even tell you how many times David has walked in the room and said something like, "wow Ann, you look good!" and then he goes beyond that and gives me details of why he thinks I look good so I know that it's genuine. 

• He talks me through my boy problems. I remember one time I was feeling really insecure about calling a boy that I was interested in, so of course I call David. Let me add that he was hanging out with his friends when I called and asked them all to be quite in the car so he could talk to me. Then he proceeded to listen to my illogical worryings and tell me that I shouldn't ever worry because I was beautiful and fun and any boy in his right mind would love to hang out with me. (I know, he's a little biased.)

• He is a spiritual powerhouse! He is very diligent about his scripture study and astounds me with his knowledge of things that seem way above what a 17 year old should understand.

Matthew Jerry

Yes Matty unicycles too.

• He has a very tender heart and a smile that heals. If you are having a bad day just tell Matty. He'll give you "the Matty look" and a big hug. It's impossible to not feel better after that.



Yeah he's not so little either.

• Matty is totally a ladies man. I'm one of those nosey sisters who always asks who he's texting and 9 times out of 10 it's a female. Figures. 

• Matty is selfless. He is always willing to do what no one wants to do, to sit where no one wants to sit, etc. 

• He is incredibly talented musically. He has a passion for music. Every time I come home he has a whole new list of songs to show me that he's found and I must say that he has good taste too. He's also the most fun to share new music with too. He shares your excitement which makes it all the more fun.

• He is SOO smart. It's kind of unreal. This boy knows so much and he is just good at school. It can be frustrating to have your little brother know more than you do sometimes.

• He knows tons of random facts and he spouts them off whenever they are relevant. I don't know where he gets these from, but he seems to remember everything he hears. 

• Matthew is an amazing runner. He has really stuck with cross country and it's impressive how well he does.

·Basically I have the best little brothers ever. Not to mention some of the best looking little brothers too. I'm so thankful for everything that they do for me and that they teach me through their examples. Love you Dave and Matty!

my parental units

     I know it’s late for mother’s day and it’s early for father’s day, but I wanted to give them both a shout out because I’ve been thinking about how much I love them lately. I love the relationship that I have with them. It’s much more like a friendship then what you think of as a normal parent-child relationship.  They’ve never been the type to tell me what I can and can’t do and I’ve never been grounded in my life (my mom doesn’t “believe” in it.) We have a relationship that is based on trust and respect, which makes it possible for us to be blunt with each other, while realizing that it is all out of love. My parents never get mad if I tell them that I think they’re wrong and they’ve never used “because I’m the parent and you’re the child” as a reason for anything they ask me to do. We all respect each other’s opinions even though we don’t always agree.  I’ve taken a few classes that we talked about good and bad parenting while I’ve been at BYU and I have been amazed that I have had basically perfect parents, not that they’re perfect people. I lived with them long enough to know their strengths and their weaknesses, but what makes them nearly perfect is that they are willing to admit that they might be doing things wrong and work their best to change that. They have set the bar high for me as a parent someday, no pressure…

Momma:

     I love my mom with all of my heart. She and I have always been close. She is my rock. She’s the person that I can tell everything and she won’t judge me. She is so logical. Just the other day I called her and the first thing I said was, “Mom I just need to vent. I know I’m not supposed to, but I just need to today so can you just listen for a minute?” Of course she said that she would and she let me go on and on about all of the dumb little things that were either stressing me out or making mad. She validated my feelings by telling me that she understood why I felt that way, but then she helped me see the logical side and made me feel much better. She believes in me even when it feels like no one else does. She tells me that I look beautiful even when I clearly don’t and not because she’s lying, but because she loves me so much that she sees me through a much more Christ like lens than I or anyone else does.

     I love all of my mom’s weird quirks. She’s literally INSANE sometimes and I love it! I don’t think people would guess that she’s as weird as she is when they don’t know her very well, but she is. For instance, one of my favorite memories with my mom is when we were sitting on the deck of my cabin and she starting shoving popcorn down my shirt and up my nose and then laughing her head off. I love that we have that kind of relationship. We can be crazy and out of control, but then there are the times that I would come into her bedroom at ridiculous hours of the night sobbing and she would just hold me and cry right along with me. She’s amazing and not to mention she’s beautiful!

Papanwa:

     

      I love my dad a whole heck of a lot. He’s one of the hardest working and faithful people that I know. He is the definition of having your head on straight. He is the type of person that will do anything for anyone. He basically never sleeps at night because he’s always busy doing good things. He has always had a really busy job and most of my life was either Bishop or Stake President and he made it work. He can get more done in a day than anyone else I know. It’s amazing how efficient he can be. And even though he’s busy he takes time for the little things that matter. He has set a very high bar for whoever I end up marrying someday because he treats my mom like a queen. He also has always taken time out of his busy schedule for his children. He was always to everything that he could be. I could tell that our family came first for him. No matter how much work he has, he will always take time to do whatever we need. He also has been an incredible example of a worthy priesthood holder. He has literally given me blessings at any time of day or night. Not to brag or anything but he’s kind of a superstar.

     I have been so blessed with incredible people in my life all over the place, but they are definitely two of the biggest blessings. I love them so much and I think part of that is because they’re the ones that taught me how to love by the way they've loved me.