letter.nine 05.27.2013: ^a golden week^

This week was a golden week because it was my GOLDEN birthday! I had a wonderful birthday! We had a zone meeting that was so inspiring and amazing. They talked about how we can become more consecrated missionaries.

The golden opportunity this week came from Gennie. She was set to be baptized on Saturday but after Sunday we weren't sure anymore. We determined to see her every day to try to help her resolve her concern. We went over on my birthday and she tried to give us everything back and say that she wasn't ready for baptism because of tithing and that she would call us if she was interested again. She said she still loved us and that we were welcome anytime. My heart was broken. Gennie was so ready for baptism. We talked to her for quite some time and even had her pray right then to see if she could get an answer from Heavenly Father. She said that she didn't but that we could come back and see her on Thursday.

In the meantime we prayed and fasted. We were praying with all of our hearts. Gennie is amazing and we just wanted her to have the blessing of the Holy Ghost in her life. We tried explaining that to her, but she still wasn't getting it. We prayed and asked Heavenly Father is we should just leave it alone and try to have her baptized on a different date, but we both felt very strongly that we should try for her being baptized this week, hence all of the prayers and fasting. I have never invested so much energy in a person. I have so much love for her and my love grew even more through all of this. We felt like we should offer her a blessing by the Elders Quorum President so he came with us to our lesson on Thursday. It was an amazing lesson. It was truly guided by God. The blessing was beautiful. She said she still didn't feel it though but that she was open to still being baptized if she got the feeling back. In the blessing it promised her that if she prayed and read her scriptures that she would get her answer. I felt so confident that it would happen. So we said we'd come by Friday morning. We went in so prepared. I had some of my most sacred PMG and Book of Mormon studies that I have had in my life.

The lesson went nothing like planned but it was very guided by the Spirit. At the end she prayed and then said she still didn't feel it, but that there were still 5 hours until the baptism so she would pray and read to get her answer. I knew that if she did and she was open to it that she would. So we said we would stop by an hour before the baptism. When we did she told us that she hadn't even had time to pray about it. I was crushed. I felt like I had given her my entire heart and dedicated so much to her because I loved her so much and she didn't even put in the effort. I was so sad, not mad at all, but disappointed by her lack of effort. I didn't know why it felt so good to try to have her be baptized this Saturday if this was the result but I was determined to not let it get me down. I knew that this happened for a reason and so instead of asking God why I asked Him what He wanted me to learn from this experience. And it was good I determined that because then one of our other investigators called and dropped us very bluntly... It was hard but I had already made my resolve to not get disappointed, because that can weaken your faith.

God poured out the answers, but not too many came on Saturday. It was kind of hard to sit at the baptism and watch someone else be baptized when we wanted Gennie to be there so badly, but it was ok. I already started feeling some of the things I was supposed to learn, but the main answer came on Sunday during church.

We went to church and Gennie didn't come, but Sacrament meeting had been planned perfectly for us. One of the speakers even told a mission story and it was basically our same experience. It was so comforting. As I sat pondering in church I was writing the things I was learning from this experience and I realized something about the Character of Christ, which is something that I have really been trying to understand on a deeper level. I realized that Christ gave His all, more than it is even possible for us to give even though He KNEW the outcome. He knew that people wouldn't accept His Atonement, but He did it anyways. He didn't just put in the effort for those that would accept it. I realized that God let me feel a piece of that. Although different in the fact that I thought she would be baptized. I realized though, that God loves all of His children so much that He wants me to put in my best effort for each of them, regardless of their choice in the end. I am representing Jesus Christ and that is what He would have done. It's hard. It breaks my heart to give so much and see the people I love with all my heart not accept, but it's worth it because they are worth it. Hopefully Gennie will be baptized sometime soon, but the true lesson the God allowed me to learn was that I should be giving my all, all of the time. He let me understand the Atonement from a different perspective than I ever have before and that is worth all the broken hearts in the world. That is a truly golden experience.

Also I can't neglect to mention that God blessed us so abundantly! We were able to find 6 new investigators! (Normally we find 3 on a good week!) God is so good to me. I can't help but thank Him with all my heart for being so kind and watching out for me so closely.

I love you all! I wish I had time to write more. In answer to your question Mom, a typical week is full of teaching and very little tracting here. It's so fun! I love it here!

letter.eight 05.20.2013 "roos and views"

Ann and her Aussie companion. (introducing her to Australian delights)

A consecrated missionary.

This week I have really been trying to become a consecrated missionary because when my companion and I talked to the zone leaders (who are AMAZING, seriously so inspiring) that's how they said they have so much success as missionaries. I have also been trying to work on being completely humble. I can struggle with getting too defensive sometimes but I realized that's all part of being a consecrated missionary. It involves putting my pride, along with EVERYTHING else, on the table and saying to God, “ok here is what I can offer you, my time, talents, things I've learned, my heart, etc” and then letting Him use them as HE wants to, not as I want to. Sure I have learned a lot of great things but I shouldn't be using the things I have how I want to. I need to let God use them however He wants and let Him develop the things that He wants developed.

Baptism from Sister Tanner's first week in Australia.

 As I have done this, and no I have not even come close to being perfect at this, (It's a process.) I have noticed the tender mercies that God has given me in GREAT abundance. That's one of the things I learned from studying humility in PMG. Being truly humble is recognizing that EVERYTHING is a tender mercy. Here are some of those tender mercies I experienced.

On Sunday we sang a duet of “I Know That My Redeemer Lives” in Sacrament meeting. It was one of those experiences where God really was our voices. I feel so blessed that He allowed me to experience that, that He was generous enough to let me be His voice. I have felt His tender mercies through lessons this week too. I can feel when it's the Spirit talking and not me. Those are the lessons that are amazing. Not because I'm amazing, but because God allows me to be an instrument in His hands. He allows me to feel His love for His children that I'm teaching not because I'm worthy of it, but because He is merciful.

Then after Sacrament meeting, a sister came up to me and told me how beautiful the song was. Then as she was hugging me she pulled back and told me that when I was singing she could see me as a mother. She told me that she saw a glimpse into my future and that I was going to be a great mother. We were both crying. God is so kind to me. How could she have known that that is a concern of mine? She couldn't. Only God could and so He allowed her to see that so that we both could be blessed.

Then our investigator that is supposed to be getting baptized had a really bad experience in Sunday School. We spent all of RS trying to help restore the damage. I felt so frustrated. I was trying so hard to be a consecrated missionary. I was fasting for that. I was praying earnestly. Then I realized, being a consecrated missionary means doing all of that regardless of what the result is. I don't do it for baptisms but so that I can be who God wants me to be and touch the lives that God wants me to touch.

 

Halls Head

Then a family in the ward invited us over for dinner. This was my first member dinner since I had been here and it was amazing. God is so kind to me. They were a wonderful family. They filled a void that I didn't even know was there. I left their house and on the drive home I was in tears because my love and gratitude to God and to this family were over flowing. I have felt that so much on my mission. The love I feel for people is almost exhausting. I feel so blessed for that tender mercy as well. God allows me to feel His love for others and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I was feeling sad last night that these feelings would end after my mission and I felt a very distinct impression that this doesn't have to end after my mission. It will be different, but I can continue to love people with all of my heart and to experience God's love for them.

God has been so kind to me. I love you all. I am amazed by your examples and I can feel your prayers and support. It means so much to me to be able to think of each of my older siblings and their missions and Jenna and Dad's missions and Grandpa Tanner and Twitchell. I have a legacy of incredible missionaries that have gone before me. It buoys me up and makes me want to be better. I love you and I'm praying for you.

Australian food.

Trying Vegemite. (said it wasn't bad)

roo!

more roos.

Halls Head.

First meat pie. (says they're Amazing)

shout out from australia.

I am LOVING it here. I'm in Halls Head and it's gorgeous. I'm about 2 seconds from the beach. We went running by the beach this morning. The jet lag isn't too bad I mostly just get dizzy. I have an Aussie companion who's only been out 6 weeks. She's from Melbourne and I love her. We are kindred spirits for sure! I love the Lindsey's they are incredible in every way. My area is awesome. Apparently it's one of the best areas in the whole mission so booyah! I love you all. Know that I'm loving it here and that I'm safe and all is well with me here down under.

letter.seven 05.06.13

This week has been AMAZING! I was praying last Sunday and I told God that I would do everything in my power to make this my best week so far in the WKM, but I also told Him that I was going to need His help. Let me tell you. It was the BEST week yet. We had so much more success than normal. Especially in OYMs. (contacts left with an invitation.) last week before we got 54 and this week we got 89! What?!!?! I know that was with God's help because we had WAY more people open their doors than normal. 

We also got 2 new investigators and that was unreal for this area. They were both awesome! I'm sad I won't be here to teach them.

My district also made me some signs telling me that they loved me. I love my district. They're amazing. They are some of the greatest people I know. Also I don't know if I told you but the Zone leaders are in our district and one of them is Elder Snow from Viewmont. He's a year or two younger than me, but that's been fun. 

I'm excited to go to Australia. I'm nervous about the flight... I'm praying for missionary opportunities and I hope that will happen because I would LOVE that. I'm going to miss Washington, my companions, my district, and the Greer’s so much. I have loved it here. More than I ever thought possible, but I know that I'm supposed to be in Australia now and that I'll love it because I'm going to choose to love it, just like I did here! Turns out it works pretty well:) 

missionary life and landscapes in Washington.

letter.six 04.29.13 (I got my visa!)

I don't know if you could tell from my subject line but I got my visa:) I found out on Friday but they told me that I couldn't tell you until today. So that means you probably shouldn't send me a package. I'll just live without the stuff. I'm leaving on Monday and our flight leaves in the late afternoon. I haven't actually seen the flight plans so I'm not sure when I'll call but keep your phone on you:) I'm really excited and nervous to go and I'm sad to leave Washington. I love it here. I love my comps and my district and wards and really just everyone. It's been amazing. I am planning on working my TAIL off this week so that it's my best week yet and I can leave Washington with a bang. Leave it all on the stage, right?

Awesome moments of the week:

*Interviews with the Greer’s. 

They are amazing. I am going to miss them like crazy. I know I'll love the Lindsey's too, but the Greer’s have been such a blessing. They are so kind and loving. 

*Bryan. 

We stopped by the Bishop's house on accident when we were tracting so we asked his wife about the neighbors, she told us about a man that lived across the street that was a member but was less active because he married someone who isn't a member. We never would have stopped there if she hadn't told us that because we try to not tract member houses. When we stopped by he invited us right in. We talked to him for a bit and then we asked him about church and his wife. He said he wants to come and he wants his family to join but his wife is anti. He started crying because it hurts him so much. We shared Alma 26:27 and he cried some more. The Spirit was so strong. Then I felt a strong prompting to promise him that if he would read the BoM everyday asking God how he can help soften his wife's heart that he would know what he should do and that eventually his wife's heart would be softened. He said he knew that he needed to do that and committed to it. It was one of those times where I felt so blessed for the opportunity of having the Spirit cause I wouldn't have thought or been able to promise that on my own. It was amazing.

*Lunch with the Coleman's. 

We had lunch with a couple in the ward at a cute little restaurant and it was delicious but the company was even better. It felt like I was with Mom and Dad again. They have two daughters on a mission and preparing to go. They brightened my week. It was a wonderful tender mercy.

*BoM bashing man. 

There was a man we tracted into and he wasn't mean but he was trying to convince us that the BoM wasn't true. It was the most logical argument I've heard (but still not logical at all) but it made me so glad that I really do KNOW that the BoM is true. Instead of it being a faith shaking experience it was a faith building experience. It made me realize how strongly I really do know that it's true. 

*Dee. 

We went to an appt. thinking we would drop this lady because she keeps canceling but instead she told us that she has read the BoM and knows it's true. So I invited her to be baptized. The Spirit was so strong. She is praying about it and we'll go see her tomorrow night. She is a golden investigator for sure. Miracles are EVERYWHERE on a mission!

*TVP. 

Last night at dinner they informed us that they were using food storage so we would be having TVP instead of real meat. I tried soooo hard not to laugh because of Dad's experience cooking with it. I took a VERY small amount so that I wouldn't have problems and I was fine but it was so funny. As soon as we got in the car I told my comps the story and we all had a good laugh. They were glad they didn't take too much of it either. 

I would like someone to email me the copy of Elder Oakes talk about sin vs. transgression. Jenna is the one that showed it to me so she probably knows. 

I love being a missionary. I love Washington. But I know I'll love Australia too. I'm glad I get my golden birthday in the land down under!