letter.fifty 03.10.14 ^a visit from a special witness^

I think the best part of this week was Mission Leadership Council with Elder Hamula. It was such a blessing to be able to visit with Elder Hamula on a more personal level. We had lunch and we got to know him and he got to know us. That was really nice.

Actually I love what President Lindsay said as well. He read Alma 29:9 about being an instrument in God's hands. That means that we don't know what we'll be doing necessarily. It may be that we have heaps of baptisms, it may be that we find a lot of less actives, it may be that we help our companion, or some of all of those. So, at the end of the day numbers really don't matter. It matters that we're doing God's will for us.

Then Elder Hamula got up. He told us that he's come to our mission several times in the past few years and that we're at our best that he has ever seen. There has been steady growth and that the missionaries in the mission are the best, and most obedient in the history of this mission. He made us feel really good, but then he gave us a caution: "you're only a day or two away from loosing it all. You have to press forward EVERY single day. You can't ever feel content or like there's nothing more you need to do. That's when everything can go to ruin.” It was such a good reminder. We're doing well, but we need to keep moving upwards.

He also read from JST Genesis 14:25-32 and talked about how we can and should be. He said that a lot of people think it's just for men because it talks about the Priesthood, but as sisters, because we have been called and set apart, we've been given a portion and access to that Priesthood power, which is pretty awesome.

He talked about how important unity is. He gave us the example of the tower of Babel and how they were all united but they were united in an unrighteous cause, so God took away their unity by taking away their communication. He said we have to be unified horizontally (with each other) and vertically (with God.)

He also talked with us about what we thought our mission's level of obedience is at right now. He talked about how it doesn't matter what mission you go to, there will always be a gap. You'll never be at a ten. He said it really doesn't matter where you are but that you know what's making the gap from being at a ten. He said as leaders we should expect the gap and then inspire change in others. He said Satan wants us all to see the gap but then to run away from it and hide. It's good to see the gap, but then to do something about it.

He showed us Jacob 5:65-66. It's like I've never read those scriptures before. It says that you shouldn't clear away all the bad at once. You have to do it little by little or the roots won't be strong enough to keep someone standing. So we should tolerate imperfection. Even if there are heaps of things that we, or others, need to change, we can't tell them everything at once. That's not the Lord's way. We have to help the good grow and as the good grows we slowly take out the bad. It reminded me of mum's phrase, "water what you want to have grow."

Then he gave us steps for how to correct. It's something I already knew but putting it in steps really helped me see it more clearly.

HOW TO CORRECT:

#1 Build a relationship of trust and love. You have to show your love or they won't want to change.

#2 Identify in them what they're doing well. With this you have to be genuine.

#3 Be humble enough to ask them what you can do to improve.

#4 "May I make some observations for you?" You ask their permission. But before that you can also ask them what THEY think they should do.

#5 Find only one or two things to talk about. It goes back to the scripture in Jacob 5. You can't tell them everything all at once. Take it slowly.

I feel like it was perfect advice for missionary leadership, but also life. This is the way we can correct for the rest of our lives. It's a very loving and not an attack at them, but a sincere love to help them be better.

He then had us ask him questions. But first, he taught us how to ask good questions. He said we should ask "Joseph Smith" like questions. We should ask them with intent to act. He also gave the example of Luke 23:8-9 when the Savior doesn't answer Herod because he really doesn't intend to act on what Christ says.

So several Elders asked questions and then Elder Hamula said that he wanted one more question and he wanted it to be from the sisters. None of the sisters were saying anything and then Sister E nudged me and told me to ask mine. So I did. My question was,  “how can I develop meekness in my teaching while still being bold?"

I was a bit nervous because I wasn't sure if it was a good question, but he paused and said, "wow, thank you. That is such a good question. This is a good group." He then gave me some of the greatest council I've received.

He took me to Ether 12:27 and he said that real boldness comes only after learning humility and meekness. He said to put aside the boldness and just focus on meekness and selflessness. Then the real boldness will come, but only after accessing the Savior's grace. Then he gave me his formula to change.

FORMULA TO CHANGE:

#1 Acknowledge your agency.

Never say, "that's just the way I am." As soon as you say that, you are damning yourself. The whole point of life is to change ourselves. We have the ability to CHOOSE.

#2 Choose to act outwardly the way you want to be inwardly.

It starts to change how you are inside when you do those things outwardly. He talked about how it works that way when you're feeling mad, but then you force yourself to smile and you feel better on the inside.

#3 Access the grace of Christ

Come to the Lord and let Him show you how to do it. We can't do this on our own. It's impossible. We have to rely on him. All good things come from him.

Then, he turned to me and told me that I just asked the question that was in everyone's soul. It was just what I needed. I felt so uplifted. He was so loving. During all of the council he gave, you could feel the love oozing out of him. It inspired me to change for the better. I wish I could type up everything, although I did share a lot, because it really changed me. I felt so uplifted and inspired. It was all of the things that I needed to hear. I know that, if for no other reason, I needed to be STL this transfer because I needed that experience with Elder Hamula. God is so good to me.

Then yesterday we had zone conference with him and that was incredible as well. He said a  lot of similar things, but it was powerful to hear it again. One of the things that really stood out to me was when he said that missionaries go to missions more for who their mission president is than for the actual location. I know that's true for me. I know I'm supposed to be in Perth, but I have felt many times, and especially yesterday, that I am here because I needed President and Sister Lindsay. I cannot even  describe the love that I have for them. They have done so much for me. They are exactly what I needed.

He also talked to us about the why, what and how of missionary work. It's something we all know, but it was a good reminder for us to break it down simply.

Why? to cleanse the souls of men.

What? declaring repentance.

How? by leaving commitments.

He also talked about what it means to be a special witness. It was powerful. I felt very strongly that he was called of God. You could tell by the inspired way he spoke and how it touched everyone's hearts. I am thankful to have been able to meet and get to know one of Christ's special witnesses. He is so full of love which makes everything he says so much more motivating. I learned a lot from him.

I love you all. Can't believe I've been doing this for a year now. I couldn't be happier. I'm so thankful this was a part of God's plan for me, even if it wasn't my plan. I love being a missionary. I love helping others change their life, but most of all I'm thankful for how much it's changed mine. I love you and I'm praying for you!

letter.forty.nine 03.03.14 "other people lose it! we're supposed to find it!"

with sister e.

Wowee. This week has been nuts. I can't believe it's already over. We had almost no time to proselyte this week because of transfers. We had to take everyone everywhere, but it was fun.

with sister e and sister s.

The best part of this week was getting our new sister, Sister S. She’s Samoan, but she was born and raised in Sydney. She's amazing. I've never met anyone with such pure reasons for coming on a mission. She was a seminary teacher for three years before she came out so she's already pro. She's also just delightful to be around. Man, I love her!

We also had MLC this week and it was great as always. But Sister E and I have really struggled with finding and that's what the whole thing was on, which is good cause that's what we needed. Although, I started to feel a bit bad about the struggles we've had. All of these other missionaries were sharing these miracles they've had with finding all the time and I started to fall into Satan's trap of comparing, but I was doing ok. I just felt on the verge of tears. Sometimes I'm much too emotional. I think I was also feeling a bit overwhelmed with training a new missionary and not feeling like we had the kind of area that would help her to learn and grow and be a model area for all the sisters in our zone.

So we went for a little break and Sister E told me that she was feeling the same way. I thought I would be ok, but them some sisters sang "Nearer my God to thee" and it was beautiful. Music always gets to me, so of course I started crying. It was a bit embarrassing, but only my companion and one of my good friends saw me so it was ok. I just felt bad that I was loosing it a bit. We decided we should get blessing so we asked President if after we could get blessings. He said of course and so we went into his office and chatted with him for  about 45 minutes. He asked us what was up and then he really helped build us up. He was so loving. It was just what I needed. I love President and Sister Lindsay. They are amazing. They have really helped me feel loved and appreciated on my mission.

 

sister e and the ap's.

Then in the blessing I was told exactly what I needed to hear. One of the things I have sometimes struggled with wanting to be like other missionaries in general. I see that they have different gifts than me and I want that, but in the blessing God told me that he has blessed me with many gifts and that I should be grateful for that and not wish for others gifts. That was a good reminder for me. God has blessed me with so much.

 

district last transfer.

I have felt better since then, but for some reason there is a bit of lingering aching. Sunday was just what I needed. I felt very blessed. We had no investigators there because one dropped us and one didn't show up so that was a bit frustrating, but church was great for me.

We also had a miracle! We hadn't found any new investigators this week and we had zero time to proselyte on Sunday but the Elders found us a new investigator and the sisters found us one as well! God is so good to us!

We also sang in a fireside. We thought it was at Warwick chapel (the furthest south in our zone) so we went there and were practicing. (We were supposed to be the prelude.) Then it was 10 minutes to 7 and no one was there. We called the ZL and they told us it was at the Meriwa chapel (the farthest north in our zone.) So we left straight away and headed up there, but on the way we had to go through slow traffic because they were doing drug testing. We got there a half an hour late. It ended up being fine and we just did the closing song. At first I felt tempted to feel stressed, but then I just laughed. It was pretty funny how it all worked out and the members were really kind about it. Good times.

  Monday because it was a public holiday p day was changed to today. We had zone meeting in the morning and it was really good. I was just feeling a bit less patient and loving all morning. Then I was feeling bad that I felt bad. During the closing song I just started crying... it was so embarrassing. I didn't just cry a little like I did in MLC. I was actually crying kind of hard. AND we were all sitting in a U shape so pretty much everyone could see me. I tried to hide it pretty well, but I think most people saw. I felt so bad. I'm supposed to be the strong one. I'm supposed to be the leader that struggling missionaries can turn to for strength. I'm not supposed to be the struggling one! (hence the PD2 quote as my subject, that's how I felt.) But it all turned out ok. I was able to pull myself together again before we said goodbye to everyone. But I was mostly just annoyed that I was crying over nothing. How dumb. But then I realized that it was ok. I don't have to be perfect in front of everyone. I can be me. I was having a hard day and that's ok. I think my body just needed to cry. It was annoying, but it's ok. I think it's just one of those times where I've got a bit more on my plate then I know exactly how to handle so I'm handling things a little less gracefully as I would wish. But that's my goal for the rest of this week. I'm going to be more patient and loving with everyone.

Because I was feeling a bit down I knew I needed to serve. The elders planned a zone p-day that sounded a bit lame to me but I was trying to be supportive. They said they weren't going to do lunch, but I wanted to serve so I offered to make lunch... for the whole zone. ha But actually it's super easy. I'm making Salsa chicken and I assigned each district a topping and I made two batches of Ann Hewlett's cookies during my dinner last night for dessert. It ended up being really easy, but I think it will be delicious and it gave me some thing that I could do it serve. I think God knew I needed that.

I am so thankful for this week. It was a lot of fun and I learned a lot. I really am extremely happy most of the time. I tell you about my moments of weakness because those are the times where I learn the most and progress. I'm so thankful for them.

I've realized this week how much I really have changed on my mission. I feel like I'm such a different person, in a good way. I'm still me, but a better version of me. I love my mission. I love the things it's doing for me. I loved in my Book of Mormon reading this morning in 3 Nephi 22 when the Lord says that He has only forsaken you for a small moment but that He will take care of you. Then it goes on to say that it's for your children's benefit. I have felt that acutely on my mission. I'm not only doing this for me and the people in Perth, but for my future children as well. That makes it even more worth it. The times that I can't do it for myself, I can do it for them.

I don't want you to get me wrong. I am sooo happy. This is one of my favorite areas and I'm with two of my favorite companions, my emotions just don't handle the adjustment as well as my brain does haha.

I love you all. I am so appreciative for the family that I have. I wouldn't trade you for anyone else. I love you and am so thankful for your love and support. 

letter.forty.eight 02.23.14 "O" Happy Day!

I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing thing week has been! We started it off with an amazing p-day. As a district, we went for a bike ride along the coast to Hillary's (tourist spot.) It was beautiful and it feels so good to exercise like that. It's very enjoyable to bike as a district especially when you don't have to wear a skirt. Then we went to the aquarium and that was really fun as well. It was great to see all of the creatures of the ocean that we never even come close to on our missions haha. Then we had FHE with Sam and some other members at Bishops house. It was so fun. Sam was the life of the party! She would fit in so well with Tanners. ha. We also had a huge meal of amazing Samoan food, I nearly died. It was so good! I think if I lived in Samoa I would be 3000 lbs.

Then Tuesday was soooo much fun. We went with our district and the assistants to ECU (a uni near us) for their orientation day or "O" day as they call it. We had a booth and were able to contact so many people and tell them about the church. From it we talked to heaps of people and 104 said they were interested. That's pretty huge for us. It was so much fun. I love talking to people like that. I was able to meet some amazingly golden people as well. They were so excited to hear about the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was awesome. Then we had a sweet zone meeting, followed by a zone blitz. It was such a good day. We were so tired by the end we basically passed out that night.

Then we had exchanges with some sisters who were struggling to find motivation. They are both some of the greatest sisters in the mission, but were just going through a hard time. We prayed so hard that we would be able to help them have the exchange that they needed.

We were so blessed. The sister I was with in our area and I were able to teach so many lessons and find great success using the household report, which is what president wanted. It was amazing. I've never found so much success in one day. The other sisters found two new gators in their area! It was such a good exchange. They called us the next day with a miracle from using the household report. They sounded like themselves again. They used to sound a bit down, but they were both bursting with joy. God is so good to us. It was amazing to be apart of it.

Then, we were calling President about the exchange and then he said, "while I've got you on the phone, I'd like to ask for a favor." We both got so nervous cause then he started talking about how new missionaries were coming in. We thought we were going to leave each other and train, but then he asked us if we would stay STL's and train a new missionary, together! AHH! We both were so excited! I can't believe we're staying together and TRAINING!!!! It's going to be so much fun!

But, the best part of the week was Sam's baptism. It was so beautiful. She was glowing. She and another girl the Elders taught were getting baptized so we asked who wanted to go first. Sam said, "Ooo can I go first I'm just BUSTING to get baptized!!!" It was so adorable. The spirit was so strong. She said she's never felt so good in her life. Then, she bore her testimony after and it was perfect. She is such a blessing to us. I love her with all my heart.

Sister E and I were also able to sing, "I know that my Redeemer Lives," and God blessed us to sound our best. The spirit was so strong. God is soo good to us!

Then when Sam was confirmed on Sunday she was even happier, which I didn't think was possible. My cup runneth over with love. I can't even begin to describe how blessed I feel to have her in my life. She has changed me. She is so prepared.

Also as I have been reading the Book of Mormon I have felt so uplifted. I can't get over how much I love it and how powerful it is. The story is enthralling and intriguing, but it's also rich in the doctrine of Christ. It has helped me see places that I want to improve. For instance, I was reading Alma 60 and 61 this morning when Moroni tells Pahoran off for not caring about them and being prideful and not worrying about anyone but himself. I can be a bit like Moroni sometimes. I jump to conclusions, but I love Pahoran's response.

"And now, in your epistle you have ^acensured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart. I, Pahoran, do not ^bseek for power, save only to retain my judgment-seat that I may preserve the rights and the liberty of my people. My soul standeth fast in that liberty in the which God hath made us ^cfree."

He is so incredibly humble. He gives Moroni the benefit of the doubt. He could have easily chosen to be offended, but instead he complimented Mornoi on the greatness of his heart and then helped him see what the actual situation was. I want to be like Pahoran. I'm trying to develop more meekness. Don't get me wrong, I love Moroni. I love his passion, his confidence, and his dedication to liberty and God, but I love the lesson learned here from Pahoran. It's something I have really been working on in my missionary work and just my personality in general. There are so many good things about the passion I have, but I do need to remember the example of Pahoran's meekness. I love it! The Book of Mormon has become more and more real to me every day. It's not just stories, but people that I can identify with and I love it!

I feel so blessed. God is overflowing the blessings at the moment. Even though, it was a bit of a tough week for us teaching and finding investigators in our area, I'm so happy that the other sisters were able to and that Sam got baptized. It was perfect. I know that God knows us each individually and He knows what we need. He knows I needed Sam and I feel so blessed and priviledged to have played a small role in her conversion process. Oh happy day!

Much love,