the happiness advantage

Choosing happiness is something that I have been working on and learning about for several years now. It's an empowering concept. I taught a workshop last night for Relief Society on emotional wellness that gave me the opportunity to think about it again. I thought I would share some of the things I learned.

First of all the talk that they gave me to use for my workshop was amazing! I can't believe I had never read it before. It's called, "Happiness, Your Heritage" by President Uchtdorf. Read it. He says that he believes that God has the greatest form of happiness and because we are His children we have it within us to be able to find the same kind of happiness. We may not be able to get there all the way in this life, but we can start coming closer to it. He suggests that there are two main ways that God feels happiness; through the work of creation and through being compassionate. 

CREATION: When I first read that I thought to myself, "Well dang, I can't create. I don't have artistic or crafty abilities..." but President Uchtdorf gives a definition of creation that is much more do-able for those of us who may not be artistically inclined. He says, "Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before-colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter." That seems much more do-able for someone like me with none of the normal creative skills. Then for all you perfectionists out there he says, "What you create doesn't have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don't let the fear of failure discourage you. Don't let the voice of critics paralyze you-whether that comes from the outside or the inside. If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it." Everyone can create smiles. It doesn't matter if your creating a masterpiece or a smile. They both will make you happy and others around you happy.

My final design.

This Spring term I took a Floral Design class. I had no previous training or knowledge about flowers, but as I learned and created these designs it was very pleasing. At first, I was frustrated because I kept failing. Nothing turned out the way I wanted it to and to top it off the designs of the boy who I took it with always turned out better than mine, but I was still enjoying it because, regardless of how it turned out, it was still pleasing to learn a new skill that I knew I could continue to improve. I stuck it out and I'm glad I did because I learned a lot and my last design turned out great... well I feel like it did.
He finishes off by saying, "The more you trust and rely upon the spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."
BEING COMPASSIONATE: I felt liking being compassionate was a little more understandable, but when you're not feeling happy it can be really hard to feel compassionate. President Lorenzo Snow gives a good formula for getting past this..."When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated." Feeling depressed is a selfish feeling. I'm not saying that this makes you a bad person for feeling that way. Everyone does and for some people it's not something that they can control as well as others. What I'm trying to say is that if we are feeling down we need to look outside of ourselves. Spread positive energy to others and that will help you push out the negative selfish energy inside of you. To sum it up... "In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.
Going along with what President Uchtdorf said is a video that my brother-in-law emailed to me. Watch it. It's pretty short and the guy is hilarious. The main point of the video is this, "It's not our reality that shapes us, but the lens through which we view the world that shapes our reality. If we can change the lens, not only can we change our happiness, but we can change the outcome as well." He discusses what people's formula for success is. Work harder to be more successful and then you'll be happy. The problem with this formula is that you can never really be happy because you keep redefining what "success" is. Once you get into the school you want then you have to get good grades and then you have to get a good job and so on and so forth. This formula will never bring you lasting happiness. What he suggests is that we reverse this formula. We need to be happy now and then we will be more successful. It has be proven time and time again in studies. When you are positive dopamine is released into your brain, not only making you happier, but it also turns on all the learning centers in your brain. Therefore, making you more successful! That is an empowering concept. So how can we become more positive? Well through the things the President Uchtdorf said and then Shawn gives a suggestion of doing at least one of five things for 21 days to make it a habit. Here's the list:
1: Record 3 things you are grateful for.
2: Journal about a positive experience you had each day.
3: Exercise.
4: Meditate, breathe deeply and clear your mind of thoughts for at least 5 minutes.
5: Do a random act of kindness. (As simple as a text, complement, smile, or email.)
As you do these thing you will be happier and have the happiness advantage because it's happiness that brings us an advantage not our advantages that bring us happiness.
One last quote from the talk, and I really feel that this is the key to it all, "I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father-as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others-God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace and fulfillment... happiness is your heritage."