"the hard is what makes it great."

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School is all about your attitude. If you expect to be miserable in a class you will be. If you expect to love a class you will. If you expect to get a bad grade you will. If you expect to do well you will. Obviously more goes into than just thinking, “oh I think I’ll get an A in that class…” You have to be willing to put forth the work because being successful will always require some amount of work. The trick is to want to do that work. The way to do that is your attitude. If you decide that you are going to love something and that you really do want to understand that subject on a deeper level then it won't seem like such a burden when you do all of your reading and homework. It can even become FUN, believe it or not. During the worst parts of classes you can see a bright side to it and it makes it much less unpleasant. For instance, I'm taking a business writing class and the whole first month is grammar... BLEH! I have always hated grammar. It doesn't come naturally to me at all. (But really who DOES it come naturally to, there are exceptions for EVERY rule!!! So confusing....) I started thinking about how horrible it was going to be, but then I remembered how that always makes things worse. So, I told myself all of the advantages of learning grammar. Like on my blog here, I could actually use correct grammar instead of just writing it the way I thought looked best. Once I started thinking of it that way I actually felt a little excited for grammar. 

If there is one thing I've learned, it's that knowledge is empowering. Any knowledge you can get is useful, if only for something good to talk about or being able to relate to more people. My grammar unit will actually empower me to be a more effective and powerful writer. (You can't deny that's empowering.) 

I was watching "A League of Their Own" the other day and this line really stuck out to me and I think it fits perfectly in with school and anything else in life that is hard. "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard then everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." School is hard. Heck! Life is hard, but that's what makes it great. There something about accomplishing hard things that brings incredible joy and satisfaction. When I heard this quote it made me think of all of my greatest moments and accomplishments, and I realized that they all came from something that was hard. The hard really is what makes it great and if we remember that then our attitudes will change towards hard things and then you can enjoy them even throughout the hard. 

my big, little brothers

I always knew that I had amazing little brothers, but I didn't fully realize just how blessed I am to have them until I came to college. I have now had several roommates tell me, after I told them something one of them has done for me, that their brothers would never do or say something like that for them... I was kind of blown away. But, it's made me observe them more closely and appreciate how incredibly good they are. So I thought I would pay them a little tribute today because really, they're great.

David William

Yes, he's a weirdy. But a loveable weirdy.

Dave and his unicycle.

• He's hilarious. He has all of these weird little phrases that, honestly, can be obnoxious but they're very endearing and soon enough you find yourself saying them too because they're dang catchy. ex: "YATAH", "This is my worst day!", "Aren't we all?", etc.

• He is an expert unicycler... weird, I know. He is all about getting into random things, but the cool thing is that he really does get into it. He is now a super good unicycler! He actually looks pretty legit while he's doing it too.

• He has excellent taste in clothing. David pretty much always looks good. He's a perfectionist and this shows in the way he dresses. Plus, he's always a good one to run an outfit by to get a boy's perspective. 

• He's always willing to talk to me on the phone, no matter what time of day or night. I have literally used and abused this... I get scared often and usually it's late at night so therefore I give Dave a call. He has talked me through some of my most ridiculous nighttime fears. I was also feeling really sick one morning (we're talking EARLY morning) and I couldn't get a hold of my parents so I called David. He talked to me even though I could tell he was really tired and it helped me calm down a lot (I was kind of freaking out because I hate throwing up... surprise, surprise.)

The term "little" just doesn't seem right now...

• He is very free with his complements. I can't even tell you how many times David has walked in the room and said something like, "wow Ann, you look good!" and then he goes beyond that and gives me details of why he thinks I look good so I know that it's genuine. 

• He talks me through my boy problems. I remember one time I was feeling really insecure about calling a boy that I was interested in, so of course I call David. Let me add that he was hanging out with his friends when I called and asked them all to be quite in the car so he could talk to me. Then he proceeded to listen to my illogical worryings and tell me that I shouldn't ever worry because I was beautiful and fun and any boy in his right mind would love to hang out with me. (I know, he's a little biased.)

• He is a spiritual powerhouse! He is very diligent about his scripture study and astounds me with his knowledge of things that seem way above what a 17 year old should understand.

Matthew Jerry

Yes Matty unicycles too.

• He has a very tender heart and a smile that heals. If you are having a bad day just tell Matty. He'll give you "the Matty look" and a big hug. It's impossible to not feel better after that.



Yeah he's not so little either.

• Matty is totally a ladies man. I'm one of those nosey sisters who always asks who he's texting and 9 times out of 10 it's a female. Figures. 

• Matty is selfless. He is always willing to do what no one wants to do, to sit where no one wants to sit, etc. 

• He is incredibly talented musically. He has a passion for music. Every time I come home he has a whole new list of songs to show me that he's found and I must say that he has good taste too. He's also the most fun to share new music with too. He shares your excitement which makes it all the more fun.

• He is SOO smart. It's kind of unreal. This boy knows so much and he is just good at school. It can be frustrating to have your little brother know more than you do sometimes.

• He knows tons of random facts and he spouts them off whenever they are relevant. I don't know where he gets these from, but he seems to remember everything he hears. 

• Matthew is an amazing runner. He has really stuck with cross country and it's impressive how well he does.

·Basically I have the best little brothers ever. Not to mention some of the best looking little brothers too. I'm so thankful for everything that they do for me and that they teach me through their examples. Love you Dave and Matty!

the Lord provides a way

Turns out that I really don't enjoy making decisions... at all. But who does? I recently had to make a decision that was challenging because what I wanted was not what the Lord wanted.I had some fairly strong confirmations throughout the whole process, which was important because I don't think I could have done it without that. One of the confirmations was in the form of a talk that my inspired father told me to read. It addressed literally every doubt I'd been having. The talk was  "Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence" given by Elder Holland in a BYU devotional. One of my problems was that I kept thinking that maybe I was mistaken about what I had felt. Elder Holland puts it perfectly.

 "Don't panic and retreat. Don't lose your confidence. Don't forget how you once felt. Don't distrust the experience you had... If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it. It is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts."

Another thing that was hard for me was that I knew that all parties involved would initially be unhappy because of this decision. I didn't know how I was going to cope. But Elder Holland answered that question too. 

"...along with the illuminating revelation that points us toward a righteous purpose or duty, God will also provide the means and power to achieve that purpose. Trust in that eternal truth. If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, he will provide the way for you to accomplish it. 'Therefore let not your hearts faint... Mine angel shall go before you... and also my presence, and in time ye shall possess the goodly land' [D&C 103:17-20]What goodly land? Your goodly land. Your promised land. Your New Jerusalem. Your own little acre flowing with milk and honey. Your future. Your dreams. Your destiny." 

When I read this I knew that, not only, would God give me the strength to do what I needed to do, but he would fill the void it left in my life. I have already felt that promise being fulfilled. I had the strength to do what I had to and then the Lord provided a way to help me fill that void. He sent His angels to help me through it. It started with a best friend who chatted with me the whole time I was at work, which helped me keep my mind off of it. Then, when I was sitting in my apartment, all alone, one of my friends just stopped by to chat. I'm thankful for that inspired friend for following the Lord's prompting and helping me not to suffocate in loneliness in my apartment by myself. Lastly, some of my good friends from high school, that I don't often hang out with, invited me to hang out with them. I am grateful that the Lord really does provide a way and that He compensates for the losses we face for following what He asks of us.
I am thankful that during our hard times that He does provide us with angels in our midst. I feel that acutely. I know that someday the Lord will provide me with my own goodly land. It will be more than I can imagine or comprehend now, but it will come. This small set back will only bring me closer to that goodly land and will make it seem that much sweeter.

"He lives in you."

This past weekend I went to my Tanner family reunion. It was super fun! Tanner's are slightly insane, very intense and TONS of fun! There are also lots of us. My dad had 12 other siblings and most of them have good sized families themselves too. I don't know all of my Aunts, Uncles and cousins because of this but it's fun nonetheless. Tanner's are incredibly friendly and super easy to talk to. They also make you feel like you're worth a million bucks. Man they're great!
The theme for the reunion was "He lives in you." It comes from a song in the Broadway musical version of The Lion King. The basic message of the song is that people that die before us live on through us because we are like them in so many ways. I can't think of a better way to describe the Tanner family. My grandpa died many years ago and he was a character. All of his children and grandchildren, as far as I know, have bits of him in them. For part of the reunion we talked about memories and character traits of grandpa and it was crazy how many really do live on through his posterity.
My aunt that was in charge of the reunion asked me to sing "He lives in you" for the reunion. I was a bit hesitant and actually decided not to do it because the song was not good for my style or range of singing. When I got there I started feeling like I should for some reason though. So I did. I was pretty nervous. The Tanners are a talented bunch and I hadn't practiced as much as I would have liked. So right before I went up I said a quick prayer and asked for Heavenly Father's help. Then, I gave a little shout out to grandpa. I told him that I was doing this for him so I would really appreciate it if he would be with me.
I sang the song better than I could have ever hoped to on my own. I felt like the song was written for my voice. There have only been a few times in my musical career that I have felt that way. It's very different than singing. It's like the music is radiating from my entire body. It's one of the best feelings that I have ever experienced. I also could feel my grandpa's presence there. It was one of those times that the veil was very thin and it was a beautiful and bonding experience with my grandpa and my family. Thank heavens for music and it's ability to bring us closer to others, even those that have passed.

the happiness advantage

Choosing happiness is something that I have been working on and learning about for several years now. It's an empowering concept. I taught a workshop last night for Relief Society on emotional wellness that gave me the opportunity to think about it again. I thought I would share some of the things I learned.

First of all the talk that they gave me to use for my workshop was amazing! I can't believe I had never read it before. It's called, "Happiness, Your Heritage" by President Uchtdorf. Read it. He says that he believes that God has the greatest form of happiness and because we are His children we have it within us to be able to find the same kind of happiness. We may not be able to get there all the way in this life, but we can start coming closer to it. He suggests that there are two main ways that God feels happiness; through the work of creation and through being compassionate. 

CREATION: When I first read that I thought to myself, "Well dang, I can't create. I don't have artistic or crafty abilities..." but President Uchtdorf gives a definition of creation that is much more do-able for those of us who may not be artistically inclined. He says, "Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before-colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter." That seems much more do-able for someone like me with none of the normal creative skills. Then for all you perfectionists out there he says, "What you create doesn't have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don't let the fear of failure discourage you. Don't let the voice of critics paralyze you-whether that comes from the outside or the inside. If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it." Everyone can create smiles. It doesn't matter if your creating a masterpiece or a smile. They both will make you happy and others around you happy.

My final design.

This Spring term I took a Floral Design class. I had no previous training or knowledge about flowers, but as I learned and created these designs it was very pleasing. At first, I was frustrated because I kept failing. Nothing turned out the way I wanted it to and to top it off the designs of the boy who I took it with always turned out better than mine, but I was still enjoying it because, regardless of how it turned out, it was still pleasing to learn a new skill that I knew I could continue to improve. I stuck it out and I'm glad I did because I learned a lot and my last design turned out great... well I feel like it did.
He finishes off by saying, "The more you trust and rely upon the spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."
BEING COMPASSIONATE: I felt liking being compassionate was a little more understandable, but when you're not feeling happy it can be really hard to feel compassionate. President Lorenzo Snow gives a good formula for getting past this..."When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated." Feeling depressed is a selfish feeling. I'm not saying that this makes you a bad person for feeling that way. Everyone does and for some people it's not something that they can control as well as others. What I'm trying to say is that if we are feeling down we need to look outside of ourselves. Spread positive energy to others and that will help you push out the negative selfish energy inside of you. To sum it up... "In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers.
Going along with what President Uchtdorf said is a video that my brother-in-law emailed to me. Watch it. It's pretty short and the guy is hilarious. The main point of the video is this, "It's not our reality that shapes us, but the lens through which we view the world that shapes our reality. If we can change the lens, not only can we change our happiness, but we can change the outcome as well." He discusses what people's formula for success is. Work harder to be more successful and then you'll be happy. The problem with this formula is that you can never really be happy because you keep redefining what "success" is. Once you get into the school you want then you have to get good grades and then you have to get a good job and so on and so forth. This formula will never bring you lasting happiness. What he suggests is that we reverse this formula. We need to be happy now and then we will be more successful. It has be proven time and time again in studies. When you are positive dopamine is released into your brain, not only making you happier, but it also turns on all the learning centers in your brain. Therefore, making you more successful! That is an empowering concept. So how can we become more positive? Well through the things the President Uchtdorf said and then Shawn gives a suggestion of doing at least one of five things for 21 days to make it a habit. Here's the list:
1: Record 3 things you are grateful for.
2: Journal about a positive experience you had each day.
3: Exercise.
4: Meditate, breathe deeply and clear your mind of thoughts for at least 5 minutes.
5: Do a random act of kindness. (As simple as a text, complement, smile, or email.)
As you do these thing you will be happier and have the happiness advantage because it's happiness that brings us an advantage not our advantages that bring us happiness.
One last quote from the talk, and I really feel that this is the key to it all, "I believe that as you immerse yourselves in the work of our Father-as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others-God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace and fulfillment... happiness is your heritage."

my parental units

     I know it’s late for mother’s day and it’s early for father’s day, but I wanted to give them both a shout out because I’ve been thinking about how much I love them lately. I love the relationship that I have with them. It’s much more like a friendship then what you think of as a normal parent-child relationship.  They’ve never been the type to tell me what I can and can’t do and I’ve never been grounded in my life (my mom doesn’t “believe” in it.) We have a relationship that is based on trust and respect, which makes it possible for us to be blunt with each other, while realizing that it is all out of love. My parents never get mad if I tell them that I think they’re wrong and they’ve never used “because I’m the parent and you’re the child” as a reason for anything they ask me to do. We all respect each other’s opinions even though we don’t always agree.  I’ve taken a few classes that we talked about good and bad parenting while I’ve been at BYU and I have been amazed that I have had basically perfect parents, not that they’re perfect people. I lived with them long enough to know their strengths and their weaknesses, but what makes them nearly perfect is that they are willing to admit that they might be doing things wrong and work their best to change that. They have set the bar high for me as a parent someday, no pressure…

Momma:

     I love my mom with all of my heart. She and I have always been close. She is my rock. She’s the person that I can tell everything and she won’t judge me. She is so logical. Just the other day I called her and the first thing I said was, “Mom I just need to vent. I know I’m not supposed to, but I just need to today so can you just listen for a minute?” Of course she said that she would and she let me go on and on about all of the dumb little things that were either stressing me out or making mad. She validated my feelings by telling me that she understood why I felt that way, but then she helped me see the logical side and made me feel much better. She believes in me even when it feels like no one else does. She tells me that I look beautiful even when I clearly don’t and not because she’s lying, but because she loves me so much that she sees me through a much more Christ like lens than I or anyone else does.

     I love all of my mom’s weird quirks. She’s literally INSANE sometimes and I love it! I don’t think people would guess that she’s as weird as she is when they don’t know her very well, but she is. For instance, one of my favorite memories with my mom is when we were sitting on the deck of my cabin and she starting shoving popcorn down my shirt and up my nose and then laughing her head off. I love that we have that kind of relationship. We can be crazy and out of control, but then there are the times that I would come into her bedroom at ridiculous hours of the night sobbing and she would just hold me and cry right along with me. She’s amazing and not to mention she’s beautiful!

Papanwa:

     

      I love my dad a whole heck of a lot. He’s one of the hardest working and faithful people that I know. He is the definition of having your head on straight. He is the type of person that will do anything for anyone. He basically never sleeps at night because he’s always busy doing good things. He has always had a really busy job and most of my life was either Bishop or Stake President and he made it work. He can get more done in a day than anyone else I know. It’s amazing how efficient he can be. And even though he’s busy he takes time for the little things that matter. He has set a very high bar for whoever I end up marrying someday because he treats my mom like a queen. He also has always taken time out of his busy schedule for his children. He was always to everything that he could be. I could tell that our family came first for him. No matter how much work he has, he will always take time to do whatever we need. He also has been an incredible example of a worthy priesthood holder. He has literally given me blessings at any time of day or night. Not to brag or anything but he’s kind of a superstar.

     I have been so blessed with incredible people in my life all over the place, but they are definitely two of the biggest blessings. I love them so much and I think part of that is because they’re the ones that taught me how to love by the way they've loved me. 

"my cup runneth over"

I don't know how many people have seen "Facing the Giants" but it's a very cheesy movie with an incredible message. It's one of my mom's favorites. When the main character feels that he has been given so much as the end he says, "I feel so overwhelmed!" It's a little bit comical, but I really can't think of a better way to describe how I have felt recently. I have been flooded with miracles and blessings. Here are some of the highlights:

• First of all my older brother Alan got a job and an apartment for his cute family, which was a huge blessing. 
• On Monday I was able to enjoy my last day of break before school with some of my fam and friends. Kevin, Michelle and I went on a walk by a river and then Kevin and I got in because it was so hot.

It was FREEZING!

 

 

• Tuesday I started classes for spring and I fell in love with my floral design class and actually didn't mind Econ. 



Lee Daken McGuire

• On Wednesday was the best part of all. I got a new nephew! It was Michelle and Kevin's first child and that in and of itself was a miracle. They had waited a long time to be able to have a baby at all and Kevin was supposed to be moving to Colorado for a summer internship before his actual due date. We have all been praying that, if he was healthy enough, he could be born early enough so Kevin could be here. Her due date was May 21st and he came on the 25th of April and was very healthy and EXTREMELY cute. 
• That same day I also found out that I received a half tuition scholarship for academics from BYU which was a huge blessing because I have worked really hard to get good enough grades so that I could get one I didn't think I had made it. 






• Because of all of the excitement on Wednesday I didn't have a lot of time to do my Econ and I didn't have very much sleep in me so I had a minor breakdown. One of my good friends asked me the next day how I was doing and I told him about it. Then when I got home I there were flowers for me. I seriously have the best friends!
• On Friday I was supposed to be helping my brother move and we weren't going to have a lot of help. Then I asked some of my guy friends in the ward and they all were willing to help. It made the work much more fun and much faster. 
• Also my incredible roommate left me a note and ice cream. 
• I also got to talk to two of my best friends this week: Ashlena and Cami. I love talking to them, it always brightens my day. 

 

 
It has been a great week full of more blessings than I thought was possible. It is amazing to be able to feel so much love at one time. It makes the whole world brighter. "my cup runneth over" with love and gratitude for the wonderful people in my life that make weeks like this happen.