This
week has been a great one, yet again. I was really sad to say goodbye to my
mini missionary. She and I had an incredible experience together.
It
was a very wet beginning of the week. We all went to the zoo as a district last
Monday, but it was pouring rain. It actually made it even more fun though. We
were all laughing and trying to stay semi dry. It was a great bonding
experience. We have the best district. Also, I got to hold a bird and pet a
kangaroo! I feel like my Aussie experience is much more complete now. I'll send
pictures. One of my favorite women in the ward also came with us too. She is so
good to us as missionaries. She took us all out to hot chocolate after. She
makes us feel like we have a friend and a mom here. I love her. I want to be
that for other missionaries when I get home.
 |
| at the zoo. |
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| with her mini misisonary: sister woo |
Sister
Woo and I had many miracles! We set two baptismal dates. It was amazing. One
was with an investigator who has had such a hard life. Being able to watch the
dramatic change in him has been such a privilege. It's the best part of
missionary work! Then the next time my companion and I went back he told us he
had quit smoking! He's amazing.
A
hilarious experience Sister Woo and I had was on Tuesday. We ran out of k's on
our car because we've had to drive to a lot of meetings this month. So, we had
to ride bikes. It was all good except that the wind was so strong that we had
to exert all of our energy to try to even get down hill. On our way home we had
to eventually get off of our bikes because the wind was blowing us off the
sidewalk into the road. Then, it started pouring rain. Not just like a little,
but like pelting us so bad that it hurt. It felt like someone was throwing
rocks at us. But we were both just laughing our heads off. It was so hilarious!
We had to actually stop for a minute because we were laughing so hard. You know
how I can get when I laugh. Man, sometimes it just feels so good to have a
laugh like that. Who knew it would be a crazy down pour? I went to bed
exhausted that night.
This
week I've really been struggling with guilt. I find myself always feeling
guilty that I'm not doing this or that I could be doing better with that and so
on and so forth. I've realized how limiting this can be because sometimes it
just makes me want to give up trying altogether. But, I knew that wasn't right.
I realized that I think the root of my problem was that I was comparing myself.
I'm so bad at that sometimes. I realized that it had to change, but I honestly
wasn't sure how in the world I could change that. Then, I read a quote on the
conference calendar by Elder Bednar,
"Every
appetite, desire, propensity, and impulse of the natural man may be overcome by
and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are here on the earth to develop
godlike qualities and to bridle all the passions of the flesh."
God
is so good at lovingly reminding me that all things are possible through the
Atonement of Jesus Christ. I realized that I was doubting the power of the
Atonement if I decided that part of my natural man couldn't be changed. So I
started pleading with God to help me know how to change that part of my nature.
I really wasn't sure how at all. God overwhelmed me with answers. I still don't
have the whole and perfect solution, but God is giving it to me piece by piece
so that I can work on it bit by bit. I think He knew that I couldn't turn it
off immediately, but that I could if I applied different principles one at a
time. I have been receiving answers in various ways but the main way is through
my Book of Mormon reading. Oh man, I love the Book of Mormon! I have never
loved it so much.
(Sidenote,
they should totally make a movie of the book of Alma. I felt like I was reading
a novel because it was so hard for me to put down!)
I'll
spare you all the details of my reading and just share the jist. The main point
God is getting across to me is humility and all the different things it
encompasses.
In
Alma 59:1-2 Moroni is an amazing example of humility. He hears about Helaman's
success and instead of thinking, "oh man, why can't I have those kind of
success stories?? I must not be as good as Helaman." It says that, "he was exceedingly rejoiced because of their
welfare." and that to really show his humility he went out and "made it known unto all his people."
He was embarrassed that Helaman had more "success" than he did. He
realized that it didn't devalue him to let everyone else know about Helaman's
success. I was able to practice that the very night I learned about it. We had
a dinner appointment and my companion did the thought and the family raved
about how amazing she was and how mature and so on and so forth. I was tempted
to feel down that I'm not as good as her, but then I remembered Moroni and said
a little prayer for help and instantly I was filled with love and appreciation
for my companion. I didn't feel undervalued, I felt empowered by her goodness
and it helped me love her more unconditionally. Such a liberating feeling!
Another
amazing example is Pahoran who got chewed out by Moroni because Moroni doesn't
understand what's actually happening.(I do that all the time. I love Moroni!)
But Pahoran handles it so well. He doesn't get defensive he says in verse nine,
"you have censured me, but it
mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart."
Umm WOW! He was choosing to see Moroni for his intentions instead of his actions.
I have been working on that too. Choosing not to be offended. Choosing not to
feel judged. I am going to choose to see people for the intentions and desires
of their hearts. It has already helped me.
I
don't even have time to tell you how God answered me perfectly in Sacrament
meeting too, but it was incredible. It's like the whole meeting was for my
needs. God really takes care of us when we put in the effort. He has been so
good to me. In a week that could have been so hard, He has given me beautiful
tender mercies and miracles to sustain me through all of my negative self talk
and then once I asked, He helped me overcome the negative self talk. God is so
good. I feel overwhelmed with love and appreciation for the Savior and His
Atonement. That's my favorite part of being a missionary! People can change!
Myself included. I learned it best from my own mother who never says she's too
old to change. That's what this life is all about, preparing to meet God
through CHANGING our natures! I feel so blessed to have that empowering
knowledge. As Alan and Alexis would sing, "you can chaaaaange!"
I
love you all. Thank you for the love and for the support. I can feel it. It was
tangible this week when times got hard. Know that I'm praying for you as well.
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