letter.sixteen "the errand of angels"

Dearest Family,

This week has been great! In Australia they do these things called mini missions where the youth come on a mission for a little while and I have a mini missionary right now! Her name is Sister Woo and she's 16. I love her so much. She is adorable. She'll be with me for a total of 5 days and she's completely a missionary, rules and all. My companion has a mini missionary too. It's such a smart idea to have them all be able to try it out and see what missionary work is really like and the amazing things that can come from it. I feel so blessed to have her with me.

We also had zone conference this week and it was inspiring and so much fun. It was all on planning and the assistants made it fun and exciting. I know it sounds weird that planning is fun, but turns out it can be. Although, I am a bit of an organization freak so maybe that's why I love it so much. My companion and I were also able to sing at zone conference so that was really fun. I love it whenever I get to sing. I feel like I can bear my testimony much more effectively through song.

One of the things that really touched me at zone conference was when the stake president spoke. He talked about the rippling effect we would have as missionaries. I had this vision of what I really can accomplish as a missionary and as a member of the church. I may not know the fruits of my mission until the next life, but I know that it's worth it. I felt so inspired after zone conference to "make it happen" as President Lindsay would say. He is all about empowering us to make things happen instead of waiting for someone else to tell us what to do or waiting for the perfect people to come to us. We have to set goals that we feel are accepted by God and then we need to LIVE for our goals. Ah! It's so awesome. Honestly, mum and dad would have been ALL over this training. So good. It's all about having a vision of what we can achieve and become.

I can't remember if I shared this before, but one of my favorite quotes from President was, "Everything of value is created twice. Once spiritually and once physically." As you look at God's pattern of creation it's true. I have felt the power of planning in missionary work.

I have decided also that it must be my calling to help troubled women on my mission. This past week I have had the privilege of talking with many women. Some of these women have been through things that I cannot even comprehend. They have been scarred and battered, but they are trying their best to keep the faith. I honestly feel a little overwhelmed by it sometimes. I don't know how to help these women and I'm not even supposed to counsel them as a missionary, but I can help them look to the Savior. That is one of the best feelings I have had on my mission. I am able to testify to them that God loves them. That they are His noble daughters and that He is pleased with their efforts. My heart literally feels like it's going to break for these women, I love them so deeply, but I know that the Savior loves them even more because He knows perfectly what they are going through. He will be there with them if they will only ask. They may feel completely alone, but they aren't. I love being able to testify of the Savior's love because every time I do I can feel His love for them more acutely. It's an incredible feeling.

A word I have come to love even more on my mission is heal. The Savior really does heal us. I have watched Him heal those that I have worked with and I have felt Him heal me. Last night we were teaching a boy who has been hurt and misguided in almost every way. He is trying to unlearn everything he thought to be true and replace it. I was able to testify to him that this process is not on his own and that the Savior will be there for him every step of the way. To see the change in his countenance was incredible. He went from depressed to smiling huge. I didn't even know it was possible for him to smile so big! He is so excited to be baptized. I feel so privileged to be a part of the "errand of angels." I love being a missionary! There are miracles all around us.

letter.fifteen 07.07.2013 ^shout out to my forefathers^

It's been a great week! When we got called to be sister training leaders together we decided that it would be good to have a meeting with just the sisters from our zone. We asked President and he loved the idea so that happened this week.

My companion and I prayed about what we should talk to the sisters about and we both felt like we should share with them Sister Holland's quote that I shared a few weeks ago and from PMG chapter one. Also, that we should share our experiences with it. They received it really well. Several of them told us after that it was exactly what they needed, which made me feel a lot better cause I was worried I was just doing it because I liked it and that it wouldn't mean anything to them.

Also, Sister Lindsey came down for it and she gave some closing remarks that ended the meeting perfectly. She is incredible. Oh and we decided, since it was a sister's meeting, we should provide lunch for them so we made them pumpkin soup and biscuits (which are called scones here.) It was a great way to bond together as sisters. God is so good. He worked out everything so perfectly for us.

Then we went on exchanges and I was here in Halls Head with Sister F and we had so many miracles! We found two AMAZING new investigators. One of which has committed to be baptized and they both came to church! The one who committed to be baptized was a referral from his mum. We went over and in an effort to get to know him I asked him what he was doing, as in with his life, and he said, "well I just want to get baptized." Of course as a missionary that is music to our ears. I thought I was dreaming! I was so excited! I tried to not freak out too much, but we scheduled for him to be baptized at the end of the month. We're soo excited! God is so good to us.

We also saw progression in some of our investigators that have been really struggling lately. It was so good. Ah! Those are the days you live for as a missionary!

Then this week I was reading a talk by Elder Callister called “Becoming a Consecrated Missionary” because it's something I am still really striving to become and the first section talked about how you have to talk to EVERYONE. He talked about D&C 24:12 which I've heard a million times, but he pointed out that the Savior commanded that we open our mouths at all times and that He has promised us that if we do that He will "give us strength such as is not known to men." umm Hallo! I want that. I am so often making excuses for why I shouldn't talk to someone and honestly, they're pretty legit excuses.

Then I read this,

"Sometimes we have missionaries who are so worried about offending people that in the process they never save them!"

Christ didn't say it wouldn't be awkward or that everyone would respond well He just said that we need to do it and He will bless us.

I wasn't sure how I was going to do this and then I read this,

"Sometimes we just have to square our shoulders and do it. There is no magic pill that makes us courageous, no passage of time that strengthens us, no memorized approach that emboldens us. We are left only with the compelling counsel of king Benjamin: 'And now if ye believe these things see that you do them.'"

And one last quote from the talk,

"The reason it is so important to open our mouths is that every time we do so we exercise faith and every time we exercise faith we invite miracles."

I NEED those miracles and so do the people of Western Australia. So I committed to Heavenly Father to do it and I have done it! I really have talked to and given a pass along card, at the very least, to every person I have seen since then! It has been so liberating! I should have started this sooner! It feels so good and it's getting less and less awkward which is great! And I can come home feeling satisfied that I really did my best.

Sunday was amazing. Church is always a time to rejuvenate for the next week. I have never appreciated church so much until I came on my mission. It's a place where the revelation can flow if we come ready and willing to listen.

Then we had a relief society fireside for our ward and our investigator went so we got to go! It was amazing. The main speaker talked about charity, which is like my favorite topic, but he spoke about it in a way I had never heard of before. He talked about how at the end of the day true charity really is ALL that matters. For example, he said we won't need things like the gift of healing in heaven. It just put it into perspective. I've been feeling bad that I'm not an amazing teacher, but really that's not what matters at the end of the day. It's the charity that I feel for the people that I'm teaching. Not that I don't need to continually improve my teaching. That matters too, but I don't need to feel bad that my number one focus has been charity. I felt God confirming to me that He is pleased with that as my main focus on my mission. I love those moments when you can feel His approval. It's like a flood of relief comes over your whole body.

I still have so much to improve on, but all that matters is that I'm getting a little bit better each day. I can't believe that I ever thought about NOT coming on a mission. I needed this refiner’s fire badly. I want to let it change me completely and forever. I thank Heavenly Father every day for the opportunity and privilege of being a full time missionary.  It's hard, but so worth it.

I can't wait for Daver to go. I keep thinking about what an incredible missionary he will be. I was just telling my companion last night as we went to bed how sometimes I wish that I could be serving with all of my siblings and my parents. I draw from your examples of missionary service everyday. One time the seminary president when he found out who my family was said that I had big shoes to fill. I feel that way now. I have had a legacy of not just missionaries go before me, but consecrated missionaries and you better believe that I'm not going break that chain. I think of John Tanner a lot and how consecrated he was. I think about that when I feel like I am having a hard time doing that. I remember that this is in my blood. I want to leave the kind of legacy that he did.

One last thought, last night as I was talking with a man he said that he believes in God, but that he smokes and drinks and doesn't live the best life. He was implying that our message couldn't be for him because he wasn't living right. I felt an overwhelming love for him from Heavenly Father. I was able to testify that our message isn't for the perfect. It's for the imperfect that want to become better. The Atonement is for everyone, not just the people that were fortunate enough to be born into good circumstances. That is the absolute best part of missionary work, watching the Atonement change people.

I love you all and I hope you make it a GREAT week!

letter.fourteen 06.30.2013 ^meetings are the best^

Well this week started off amazingly! Going to the temple was just what I needed. I have missed the temple a lot and it felt so refreshing to be able to sit in the temple and enjoy the incredible spirit and perspective that it brings. There is nothing better.

After reading David and Mom's emails I was feeling a bit sad that I wasn't going to be there for when David went through the temple for the first time. David and I are really close and I would have loved to be there to talk with him in the celestial room just like all of you did for me. As I was waiting for the session to start in the temple I realized I was going to the temple only a few hours after David would have been. I, of course, started crying. I felt so blessed. God really does care about me. He knew that it would be kind of hard for me to not be there with Dave so He gave me the next best thing, being able to go to the temple with my zone. I thought about you the whole time Dave. I was praying that you had a good experience and that even though I wouldn't be there that you would feel of my love and support.

Another tender mercy in the temple is that I got to sit by Sister Lindsay. I am used to going to the temple with you mom and I was thinking about all the good conversations we had in the temple and it was a comfort to have my mission mom there with me. She and President came around to each of us in the celestial room and she gave us a hug. As she gave me a hug I felt overwhelming gratitude for her and for you mom. It's not that I was missing you all, don't worry.:) I was just thinking about the incredible blessing of eternal families and the blessings of going to the temple with people you love. I hope you all had an incredible experience with Dave in the temple. I can't wait to read about it.

Another amazing thing this week was being able to be at mission leadership council again. Man, I love meetings; especially meetings with President Lindsay in the mission home. It's so inspiring to hear him speak. He speaks by the Spirit and he always says exactly what I need to hear for me, my investigators, or the Sisters I serve as sister training leader. It seems that every time I've exhausted all my resources for seeking the answers to my prayers we have a meeting on exactly what I need to do. The Lord and His timing never cease to amaze me. He is in the details of all of our lives.

One of the things I loved that He said was that God has always created things first spiritually and THEN physically. There is always a plan first. That's what we do as missionaries too. We plan and then we carry out those plans and make them a reality. We would never succeed if we didn't plan first.

Also, we got to watch the worldwide leadership fireside for the last two hours of church yesterday. OH MY GOODNIGHT. I was crying through the whole thing; so many emotions up in “hur”. Wow. First of all, thinking about how Daver will soon be in the MTC like all those missionaries there. So awesome. Man I can't wait for him to be out in the field. There is power knowing that people you love are serving too.

But, that whole fireside was incredible. It put missionary work into a whole new light. President Lindsay is all about us having a vision of what we want to become as missionaries and as a mission and I feel like the leadership training was a perfect vision of what God wants missionary work to be now. I cannot even imagine how missionary work will change. It's going to be huge. God is hastening His work.

One of the things I took away from it the most strongly is how much members should be involved. Hearing that the missionaries in that Oklahoma ward were getting 20 member presents blew me away! I could see so much more clearly what the members role really should be in missionary work. It's not us missionaries who should be finding, but the members. When they said that the ward should be filling up our planners so that we don't need to go tracting I wanted to stand up and yell, "AMEN!" but... since we're not that kind of church I contained my enthusiasm to a big smile. I hope we can help inspire the ward members here in Mandurah to have this be their main focus. That's another thing I realized. Even after I'm home, I'm still a missionary and aside from my family missionary work should still be my first priority. If nothing else, I needed to come on a mission so God could help me change my perspective. It kills me how selfish and "busy" I was before so I would make all sorts of excuses! Bah! I'm here on earth to prepare to meet God and to help others to prepare to meet God! What a blessing! I never have to stop being a missionary. Thank heavens. That also means that the traits I'm developing on my mission are not just for a mission, such as talking with everyone, they are for all eternity! Honestly, that's a little overwhelming to me, but good thing I have my whole life to perfect that skill. I just need to be more like Grandpa Tanner. I think that all the time. People may have thought he was awkward, but who cares. It's all about bringing souls unto Christ and the elect will listen.

I hope you all watched it and if you didn't do it. Now. It's incredible and life changing.

Oh and hilarious story of the week, I am now the designated driver... that means I am now driving on the wrong side of the road and the wrong side of the car. It's actually not too weird. I'm just trying to figure out the width of my vehicle. It feels like our little corolla is huge because I have so much car to the left of me. My first night driving we are coming down a road and a dog runs out in front of me. I didn't hit him but I stopped and waited for him to move. Nothing. So my companion gets out of the car and tries to get him to move, but the dog jumps in the car. I'm not a huge fan of dogs so I’m trying not to freak out. This is a big dog. My companion has to pull him out of the car with all her strength and then try to chase him away. This whole process took like 10 minutes and we were both laughing our heads off. I'm not even surprised that that happened to me the first time I drove. ha So funny.

Well I love you all and I hope that this week has been a good one. I can't wait to read your emails.

Love you!

ps just saw that DREW CAME!!!! BAHHHHHHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAH I'm so excited! Too bad he'll have to wait a while to meet His favorite Auntie:)

letter.thirteen 06.26.2013 "Be patient in your pursuit of perfection"

Well first of all, I'm sorry that I didn't write on Monday again. We had preparation day switched again because we get to go to the temple today! I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am for that. We're going as a zone, which will be fun. There are quite a few new missionaries in the zone so it will be awesome to get to know them better.

Speaking of changes in our zone, turns out I love people waaay too much. It was so sad to say goodbye to missionaries that I've been serving with. I just feel this intense love, non-romantical of course, for people. I love getting to know people but it's really not very fun to say goodbye. I suppose I'll get better at this whole transfer thing as time goes on. That was not something I anticipated being hard on a mission. I was so blessed to have incredible leaders and I'm glad I at least get to keep one of them. I'm also THRILLED to be staying in Halls Head with my companion. She's awesome. I wasn't ready to lose her yet and I most definitely was not ready to leave the Mandurah ward and the people we've been teaching. Part of me just wants to stay here my whole mission. Oh and my companion and I were made Sister Training leaders so that should be interesting. I love that we will get to go up to leadership council, but I'm most definitely under qualified. But I know that God wouldn't have asked me to do it if it wasn't for a reason. I can't wait to learn from the sisters in our zone!

This past week we went to teach a lesson to a former investigator who has heaps of questions and hard ones too. She started throwing them out at us and then she'd look at us like, "yeah that's right, try to answer that one sweetheart." Normally, I just want to argue with those people, but I knew I wasn't supposed to on a mission, nor would it be effective. So, I prayed to see her as God does and to be able to answer her questions with love and clarity. I felt so much love in my heart for her. I never felt annoyed with her or anything. Just love. You all know me and know that that is a MIRACLE! I was so blessed. God was so good to me. He helped me to be able to have patience and clear answers that were WAY beyond my normal capacity. I felt so blessed.

I've also been trying to be better about my prayers. As a missionary, you say about 1 million prayers everyday, rough estimate. So, sometimes it's hard to make them all sincere. I've been really struggling to make my morning and evening prayers sincere especially because I'm so dead tired and my head it always in a million different directions. But Adam Hewlett and I have been emailing and the last email he sent me was about prayer and an article he read in this month's ensign. I read the article and it changed my whole view on prayer. All of you go read it. Now. It's by Elder Pearson. The part that really hit me is that a lot of the article is dedicated to preparing to pray. Wow. I had NEVER thought of that before. I need to prepare myself to talk to God. It makes complete sense and let me tell you it works. He gives some suggestions for ways to help you focus and prepare to pray with a humble and grateful heart. The prayer I said immediately after was so sacred and special to me. I felt the reality of God being my loving Heavenly Father in a way that I have only felt a few times before. I could feel His arm around my shoulder telling me that He was pleased with me and that it was all going to be ok. I know I still have a long way to go before my prayers really are adequate. There is so much more in that article you have to go read it. He laid it out so simply and beautifully. I loved it. I copied down nearly the whole thing in my topical composition study notebook.

Then on Saturday we were out and one of our former investigators member friends called us to tell us why she hasn't been talking to us anymore and to encourage us to go back and try to talk to her again. He didn't know we were on speakerphone so he told my companion that the reason she stopped contact was because of me. She said I was too pushy. When I heard that my heart was on the floor. I only met her once, but I love her so much. I didn't even remember being pushy. It was one of my first lessons that I had when I came to Australia so I was pretty fresh, but I still felt terrible. Getting told that you are the reason that someone stopped listening feels terrible. I had no pride left. It was the first time I wanted to really give up. I started thinking about how her eternal salvation was in peril because of me and that I was a terrible missionary and blah, blah, blah... I started having a very negative conversation with myself. Then I remembered my theme for this transfer. It's a quote from one of Sister Holland's talks that I have on my iPod here. "Be patient in your pursuit of perfection." Then she gives us three ways to be less hard on ourselves.

#1 Remember that any failure with the gospel of Jesus Christ is only temporary.

#2 No self pity. None.

#3 Eliminate all could haves, would haves, should haves, and if onlys.

I was doing the opposite of all of those three things. So I picked myself up by the bootstraps and went in to see our other investigator. I had to take deep breaths and I still couldn't stop the tears, but I prayed with all my heart for help. I knew I had to pull it together. We went and talked to our other investigator and then we got in the car to drive to a less active. The song, "I am His daughter" came on. I can't tell you how often music is the answer to my prayers, but it happened again. The lyrics are, "I'm part of the bigger picture. He loves me the way I am; He's my strength when I stand. He is my king and my Father. I am His daughter." There are other parts of the song that helped too, but that part is the part that helped me understand that God loved me the way I AM not just the way I should be. Yes, I can progress and become a better missionary, but what's in the past is in the past and I just need to learn from it.

Then our less active wasn't home so we needed to go night tracting. That was the last thing I wanted to do when I felt like this, but I realized that this was the moment that I could show God that I was a consecrated missionary. I kept repeating Sister Holland's quote in my head over and over and praying for help and you know what I did it. I went night tracting and everyone was super nice, super not interested as well, but it was a tender mercy that they were all kind and I was able to feel God's satisfaction with my work and that is all that really matters. I feel so blessed to have had that experience. It still hurts. It still makes my heart ache inside when I think about it, but I'm NOT going to let that slow me down. I'm going to let it propel me forward!

I love you my dearest family! Thank you for all you do for me:)

letter.twelve 06.17.2013 "returned it running o'er"

Well this past week was the last of the transfer and it was AMAZING. I love being a missionary, especially here in Halls Head. I am nervous that my companion or I might get transferred. It would seem too good to be true for us to stay together here in Halls Head. It's amazing here. Not only is it gorgeous, but it's also full of incredible people who I have grown to love more than I thought possible. Honestly, it's very unlikely that I'll be moved, but I hope my companion stays too. But I know that I'll be where and with whoever is best for the Lord and furthering His work, which is what it's all about.

For the whole transfer my companion and I have worked so hard and both of us being the same "mission age", we are learning through trial and error what works and what just doesn't, ha. Because of that we have worried that it's because of us that a lot of our investigators have been dropping us or just not progressing in general. It's been a frustrating feeling to work so hard and see no fruits, but this week we finally saw the beginnings of the fruits.

We have been trying so hard to get investigators on date for baptism and to come to church. There are two of our investigators who have been trying so hard to come but Satan has been pulling out all the stops to get them to not come, but this week we were able to meet with them several times (which is a huge deal because the dad works 100 hour weeks) and on Saturday night we committed them both to baptism for the 29th of June!!! Woot woot! They are so ready. Chris is so awesome about the whole thing. Lucy (his daughter) is a little nervous, but she's feeling really good too! That was such a miracle!

Then right after that we went to an investigators house we found earlier this week and we committed her to baptism too! She is so keen! It's amazing. She's a 14 year old girl and I think we're the first people to help her feel love and appreciation on a deeper level than because she's a cute girl and even better than that she is beginning to have a relationship with God and to feel His love. She has already been reading the Book of Mormon and quitting smoking. She asks all the right questions. AHHH I love her so much. I have been filled with SOOO much love this week! Especially Saturday! After we set those three dates we called the zone leaders for a miracle report and they freaked. ha. Then they told us to call President and he was super excited too. I love that in this mission we're encouraged to share miracles like that. It helps keep the fire burning to share and to hear others. Three dates on one night just doesn't usually happen, but it's not because of us, tt's because God is so good and the Spirit can touch people's hearts. It's an amazing privilege to be along for the ride.

Also earlier that day we were tracting and we knocked on a door and the husband and wife started asking us perfect questions and asked us to come back today! They are GOLDEN! It was such a miracle. It's all because we prayed for a street. No, I didn't have some huge spiritual experience of feeling super strongly that we were supposed to go to Erica Street, it was more of a passing thought as I looked at the map, but we acted on it and that is why! We found two golden investigators! Being directed by the spirit feels so differently than I expected, but I'm learning to recognize it more and more.

Then Sunday came. We were sooo nervous that Chris and Lucy wouldn't be able to come. We were praying our hearts out. When they walked through the doors I nearly knocked Lucy over with my hug. I was so happy! I couldn't stop smiling all through church! Not only did they come, but it was amazing meetings all day. Nothing weird was talked about in Sacrament or Sunday school and let me tell you that is always a worry with investigators at church. Then we also had a less active that we have started working with come and her non member friend/our new investigator! We were singing "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief" and when we sang the third verse that says, "Thrice from the stream he drained my cup, dipped and returned it running o'er; I drank and never thirsted more," it was hard for me to keep the tears in.  I really did feel that after I felt like my cup had been drained Sunday after Sunday to have it filled to overflowing was such a blessing. I know I couldn't have felt so happy and so blessed if we wouldn't have experienced those heartaches of the previous weeks. It was worth it. 

In Relief Society we talked about the temple and after Aniwa (our less active we're working with) turned to us and told us that that's what she wants. She wants the temple to be her goal. We're planning on going up to the temple with her this week to walk around the grounds and talk about her divine nature. That has become a favorite topic of mine. To be able to look into someone's eyes and tell them that you know that they have the potential to become a God or Goddess is a powerful experience. I have been able to see that in them. I can see a fraction of what it will be like for them and it makes my heart feel as if it's going to burst. I love it! Aniwa also told us how much she loved us and how the timing of us coming and the scriptures we have shared have been exactly what she has needed to hear and how she knows it's because God loves her and wants her to come back! "I feel so overwhelmed!" God has been so good to me this week and always. I love being able to watch people progress in their relationship with their Savior. It's beautiful and something that you can't put into words.

letter.eleven 06.10.2013 ^the power of prayer^

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Well because we're having a zone preparation day today I have even less time to write than normal, but I'll share with you the greatest highlight of the week.

On Thursday my companion and I went on exchanges with the Sisters in Jandacot. I was with a sister in my area. She is AWESOME. She's from Bath, England. Made me think of Pride and Prejudice. She's amazing and it was so nice to have a perspective of how it is to be in Australia with another missionary and see her strengths and things I could learn from her. We had a great day! We had some awesome miracles while tracting and we had a lot of fun while doing it! I'm all about that. I think that missionary work is work but it's also pretty dang fun a lot of the time, if you choose to make it that way.

That night, after the exchange, my companion and I were driving back and I started to feel really bad. I felt like I hadn't done my part as a missionary and that I hadn't done a good job in leading out during the exchange. I was letting Satan get into my head. I know I shouldn't but sometimes it's hard not to. That night we had a lesson with President and Sister Lindsey there. I wasn't looking forward to it because I was feeling so off, but it ended up being exactly what I needed to get the awful feeling to go away. The lesson went really well. Again, can't say it was me cause it for sure wasn't. God was very kind to me and really helped us be guided by the Spirit and the comments that Pres. and Sister Lindsey added in were amazing. But the best part was that we got to chat with them for about an hour after and before. It was exactly what I needed. They helped me so much. I've been feeling bad that we haven't been able to pull in some of the numbers that we were supposed to but President helped me remember that numbers really don't matter. It's all about putting in our effort. The numbers are needed to measure, so we can see what's happening, but they aren't the focus. That helped so much. Having the two of them in our flat brought a peace in my heart that I needed so badly. It was such a blessing. Then at the end President said a prayer and in it he said a lot of beautiful things that I needed to hear, but one of them being that he asked God to help us know that He is pleased with our work. I felt the Spirit so strongly that God is pleased with me as a missionary and that He just wants me to keep trying my best and doing a little better each week. I felt so overwhelmed with love. (I feel like I'm always saying that on my mission because love really has been the theme of my mission)

Side note: Another thing I learned this week is the power of praying with people. We tried to pray with more people on their doorstep even if they weren't interested. It was AMAZING! It feels kind of weird at first, but when you can pray for them by name and for specific things that they talked to you about and especially when you pray by the Spirit, the Spirit will even tell you what to pray for. You can feel the change in the atmosphere. Their hearts come that much closer to being softened, if not softened completely. I love it. Prayer is so powerful! I love you family and I am praying for you always. I can feel your prayers, love and support. Thank you for being there for me:) I love you all! Sorry this was so short, today was insane...

letter.ten 06.05.2013 ^perfect timing^

First of all, I'm sorry that I didn't write on Monday. It was a public holiday so President changed preparation day to today. This week has been a good week, but really hard. We got to go to leadership council at the mission home because my companion is a sister training leader and that was awesome and way inspiring. It also made me realize how blessed my companion and I have been with success, and it's not because we are so good. We're not. We're both newbies. We are definitely in a blessed area to be able to have the success that we are having. God has been very good to us; not that He isn't to other missionaries as well. After that meeting we were feeling so pumped to go out and keep having success and putting in the work. We then proceeded to have almost everything we planned fall through. No one opened their doors and all of our lessons went pretty badly and even more of our investigators dropped us. It was so frustrating. We had so much faith and we were working so hard and then it was SLAM SLAM SLAM. I was so frustrated with myself. I wanted to know what I was doing wrong. Why could I not help these people progress?! I just wanted these people to come to have this joy and happiness that I have. My heart was in the right place. Then the zone leaders brought down our mail. I had some amazing birthday cards from you all and then a PACKAGE!!! Honestly, that was exactly what I needed that day. The CD was perfect. Every song was healing. Thank you so much for doing that. It meant the world to me. Also, the conference calendar was perfect too. I went to the day it was first and it was the quote by Elder Holland about not worrying if you don't know everything. Just hold on to the ground you have already won. It was perfect. Thank you for sending that package. It made a very hard day so much better. It helped me remember that I can do this. And beyond that, God continued to answer my prayer of how I can help people progress in so many ways. One of the big ones was in zone meeting. The zone leaders started off by saying, "today we want to talk to you all about how we can help our investigators progress." Wow. God is so kind to me. It was just what I needed to hear. My companion and I were also able to do a training on how the BOM answers questions of the soul and the Spirit guided us to say things even though we felt so under qualified being the newest missionaries in our zone. After the meeting, the zone leaders called us to thank us and they made a point of saying to not be too hard on ourselves and that we were doing a great job which was exactly what I needed to hear. God overwhelms me with answers to my prayers. It's amazing. I feel so blessed. I know I say this every week but I can't even begin to explain how kind God has been to me. Even though this week has been really hard for many reasons, He helped me by sending me tender mercies all along the way. My favorite phrase has become “God is good to me." It helps me remember that all of these blessings I am receiving aren't because of me and my greatness but because of Him. What a blessing. Thank you all for your love and prayers. :)