letter.forty.three 01.19.14 ^wanneroo wandering^

"Wow, I'll tell you what, wow." This week has been crazy. My last few days in Como with Sister T were wonderful. I love her so much. She and I had an amazing two transfers together in Como. I love the people there and I miss them already, but I knew it was time to go. I could just feel it. 

I was able to have a final goodbye with Haylee and her family and she gave me a cute little gift. I love her so much. I want to do everything in my power to keep her active. I love her too much to let her go inactive.

Transfer day ended up being craziness. Sister E didn't get up to Perth until three in the afternoon so I went with another sister to deliver a lot of luggage to people's flats. Then I finally got to be with Sister E... It is amazing. I love being her companion. She and I have the perfect personalities to complement each other. We get along so well. She is amazing and we both are so excited to work our tails off this transfer. We both have a big vision for what we want to happen this transfer. It's going to be epic.

We were doubled in (both new to the area) so we wanted to start it off right by building relationships with the members. So we made a batch of Anne Hewlett’s cookies and tried to visit as many members as we could. We had short visits but were able to get to know a lot of members and they were all amazing and so willing to help us in any way they could. It was great! We also got lost a lot. Neither of us know the area so it can be quite comical trying to find where everything is. We "chucked a lot of Uies", as the Aussies would say, but we always had a good laugh.

Also our Zone name/theme for the transfer is the “North Coast Soldiers” so S. E and I found a battle scripture and took each of the sisters some "war paint" for our next zone p-day, which will be laser tagging. We're trying to build the excitement for the zone and sister unity. It's so important. I love the sisters in this zone. They are some of my favorites so it should be an amazing transfer!

We were even able to find two new investigators and teach a lesson to an investigator with a member there! It was great. I love it here already. The people are wonderful! The ward is huge compared to the Como ward, which makes for a different dynamic but I love it so far.

I think my favorite thing about this week was just being able to do missionary work with Sister E. I love her. There is so much I can learn from her. A lot of my weaknesses are her strengths and vice versa. It's such a good companionship; although, I have loved all of my companions. I have been very blessed.

One good experience was when she and I wanted to go tracting so we prayed for a street and we felt some very slight promptings. Through that we were led to one of our new investigators who is amazing! He has such a strong belief in God and has been prepared! It was another witness to me that while the promptings of the Spirit may not be huge or obvious, when we just follow the subtle promptings we can be led to great things.

I am so happy! This is going to be a great transfer. I love you all. You're always in my prayers:)

letter.forty.two 01.13.14 ^lessons learned and transfers^

Well this week has been great! Oh man. It was good. Everything went so well for Haylee's baptism. Oh my goodness it was amazing. The Elders had two baptisms as well so it was great. The ward really showed their support too. It was amazing! It helped them be fired up for missionary work. We had members coming up to us to tell us how much they wanted to help and giving us times they could come out. It was awesome.

 

Haylee's baptism.

And Haylee was amazing. When she came up out of the water she was bawling. The Spirit was so strong. We hugged as she sobbed into my shoulder and she just kept saying she didn't realize how good she would feel and how different she would feel. I've never seen her feel the Spirit like that, I felt like her mum. I love her so much. Then she bore her testimony and it was so beautiful. It was sincere and pure. I feel so blessed to have been a small part of her conversion process.

Although, it was very interesting to me that I thought when I finally got a baptism of someone I found, taught, and baptized that I would feel a sense of accomplishment, but I didn't at all. It was so clear to me all night that Haylee didn't get baptized because of me or because I've changed something in my missionary work. It doesn't really have anything to do with me at all; it was all Heavenly Father. Haylee is amazing and I just feel privileged to have been able to witness and help facilitate a conversion. It's something that I have been wanting for a long time and now at ten months I finally saw it!

 

Como district.

I was also able to sing with Elder A at the baptism. It went really well. God really blessed us to be able to sing better than ever before. Almost everyone was in tears and it wasn't because of us, but rather because of the Spirit. ps Elder A went to Viewmont for his sophomore year, my senior year and we both sang in a seminary assembly. Small world.

Although we had all of these beautiful blessings this week, Satan still really tried to get us. Sister T and I have become such great friends. I love her with all my heart, but this week we started to both just feel a bit blah and then we were both getting slightly annoyed with each other at different points. It wasn’t constant, but much more often than normal. Then finally mid-week I felt annoyed with her during personal study for a stupid reason and I was done. I was so over getting annoyed about little things because I love her! So I went into our room and closed the door. I poured out my heart to God. I told Him that I was frustrated with myself because I'd been feeling blah and I had been feel uncharitable feelings towards Sister T and I didn't want to be that way. I prayed with all my strength to have it removed from my heart and, it was. In comp study we were able to talk about it and we both talked about the way we'd been feeling. It was soo good. We both realized that we were being silly and that it was just Satan trying to tear us apart the last week of transfers and just before Haylee's baptism. We were able to laugh about all the stupid things we did during the week. It was amazing. We got back to normal and we love each other more than ever.

We also had a huge miracle with an investigator we found at the end of last week. We've been following up heaps of less-actives to see if they still live there for the past week and a half. It took ages and honestly it was frustrating because it made it so much harder to find and get other things done, but Bishop wanted it done, so we did. But through it we found Mark.

He's been living with his old friend who is a less-active member. We taught him a lesson and we tried to set a return appointment but he said he'd just take our number and give us a call... yeah that never happens, but he really did call us! We've been meeting with him or talking with him on the phone basically every day since. He loves the Gospel and has been searching for the truth. He read all of 1 Nephi in a day! Now he's read most of 2 Nephi as well. He loves the Book of Mormon and he is always studying things about our church and has excellent questions. We've also been able to find great fellowship for him and that's been amazing.

The biggest miracle about Mark is that he came to church and loved it and then we talked to him on the phone and we set a baptismal date!!! Woot woot! He's so solid it's crazy! We're thrilled! God is so good to us!

I love the Como ward. They have been so good to us. On Saturday it was 44 degrees Celcius.... that's like 109! It was so hot. All of the members of the ward were telling us we could come sit in their air con. And then at church they all told us they were thinking of us and were asking what they could do. One of our closest friends even let us come have our Sunday afternoon (because we have church in the morning) studies under their air con. It was amazing. I love this ward. It has so much character. They are amazing people. I'm going to miss them a lot. I'm going to miss Sister T a lot too. We've had such a good time together. She's an incredible person and missionary. I have learned so much from her. Oh and by the way, Sister Lindsay called us last night and asked us both if we would be Sister Training leaders but said that we wouldn't be together. I was really surprised because I didn't think I would be STL again, but I'm excited for the growth that will come as I get to learn from my new comp..... guess who.................................................................................................... DRUUUUUUMMMMMMM ROOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SISTER E!!!!!!!!!! (she was in my MTC district) I cannot believe it. I'm totally in shock. I have wanted to be her comp since day one. I feel like I'm dreaming right now. I'm so stinkin' excited!!!!! I didn't think it was possible. If I could have chosen any person on the mission I would have chosen her. Dang!! God is so good to me! We'll be serving with some awesome zone leaders! I'll be serving in a district with one of my favorite missionaries as my district leader. Craziness. And I get to go on exchanges. That's the best part. You're the one who benefits as a STL because you get to learn from all the different missionaries. And this time I'll be a less-stressed version of myself. It will be great. I trust that God knows what He's doing with me. This is going to be such a good transfer.

I love you all. I am thankful for your love and support. I miss you dearly and pray for you daily.

ps I did my “real laugh” for the first time on the mission. I was so tired and worn out one day. My comp hates navigating and she led us to the complete wrong place and I pulled over to see what happened and I looked how far off track we were and I just couldn't stop laughing. It was hilarious. I was crying and everything. It felt good. But now Sister T and Elders M and A have all seen the real Sister Tanner laugh... They were really nice about it though. :)

letter.forty.one 01.06.14 ^loving Como^

Well this week started off rough with Dolly dropping us. I forgot to tell you about all the drama the previous week. Her ex-husband (who is now her care giver) started screaming at us on the street. It was bad. He was threatening to call the police and telling us that we were stealing her money and that she never wanted us back. That was interesting, but then we went again when he wasn't there and she said it wasn't true and that he's just a bit funny.

Then when we went over on Monday and her neighbor started yelling at us. Dolly told them to stop, but then when we came in she said she knows she should be more courageous but she just can't handle it at her age. She loves us and said we can come back whenever but she can't join a church right now. It was sad, but it's part of life. I want to do her work after she dies. :)

In contrast, we had GREAT lessons and progress with Haylee this week! She is amazing. I honestly can't even believe it. We taught her about the law of chastity (emphasis on modesty), word of wisdom, tithing, and fasting. All things that can be a bit tricky but she loved them all. She has incredible faith. She knows that whatever God asks is nothing compared to what He's given to us. I feel so blessed to be taking a small part in this beautiful process! She's getting baptized on Friday!!! She's so excited and set to go. There are going to be heaps of people there. I can't wait.

She came to church today and fasted with us! She is really just a part of the ward now. Everyone in the ward is really excited about her baptism and there are two other baptisms at that same time so I think it's really helped build the ward's confidence and fire for missionary work.

I love the Como ward. This has become my family. I didn't think a ward could be as good as Mandurah, but it has been. It's been different, but I love the people here. They have grown to love us too. Transfers are next week and everyone keeps talking about how they don't want us to move. Two people bore their testimony about how much they love missionary work and us and we have dinner appointments every day this week (which is uncommon here. We used to get fed once a week if we were lucky.)

I feel so blessed to have the members’ support and their love. They're beautiful people full of incredible stories that we have been able to learn from. I couldn't have chosen a better place to spend the holidays.

We also had interviews with President and this was by far my best one yet. I love President Lindsay. He has so much wisdom and he really helped me feel uplifted and blessed through speaking with him. I love Sister Lindsay as well. She and I had a great talk while my comp was in her interview. She's the most positive person I know. I love it!

Sister T and I were also able to have some great chats about goal setting. She hasn't set goals a lot in her life, and since our family is a bit goal-fanatic she asked for my help. We had this whole long chat about how to set SMART goals and how to do more then just set them, but to come up with a plan of action and measuring system so that you make sure you actually achieve them. Then we took it the step further and I helped her write affirmations. She was blown away. It's changed her. It made me remember how great these tools actually are. She actually loved it so much that she asked our DL if I could talk about it in district meeting.

Of course, I can't take any credit for it. I talked about Grandpa Tanner a lot. I just didn't realize or remember how powerful these things actually are and it helped me feel even more motivated to do it right. I am excited for the things I'm going to accomplish this year, with the help of the Lord. I love the start of a new year!

I love you all. I am so thankful for the wonderful family I have and for the support you all offer. Not just now, but throughout my whole life. I'm most especially grateful for the way you all have raised me by example. Obviously my immediate family but extended as well. For example, anytime I have to do a cleaning service project that is less than desirable I think of Julie and how she doesn't cringe at things she just rolls up her sleeves and does it! I love that about her. I love you Jul! And mum with making it happen all the time. She doesn't let anything stop her if she's determined, Dad's ability to talk with everyone, Alan's energetic personality, Michelle's fashion and endurance. Scott's humor, (really helps me get through)   Matty's music, David's determination to do things well, Jenna's loving heart, Kevin's ability to just be himself, always, Alexis's fearlessness. You all are amazing. I am thankful for you incredible examples. The list could go on and on. MAKE it a great week!

Heaps of love,

letter.forty 12.30.13 ^daily bread^

Oh what a week. It was so so so much fun to see you all on Christmas! I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. You all were the best present I got, although I have LOVED my other presents you sent. You're so generous. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

Christmas Eve.

Christmas was awesome. I loved spending time with the two families in the ward. And Dad the Filipino family made us the best flan I've ever had in my life. It. Was. Incredible. I nearly died. It was a beautiful Christmas; I felt so much love and peace all day.

 

Christmas Crackers. Best Tradition Ever.

Although after Christmas had come and gone I wasn't sure what to do. For my whole mission, Christmas has been my marker point. I knew it was about half way and that it would be a great day so I've looked to that and now I'm not really sure what to look to because it's a bit overwhelming to think of the end of my mission as a marker. That's how I am though. I have to have something to mark the way if I will be able to endure well.

Then this week we couldn't get a meeting with Haylee so she seemed less solid and I was just really struggling with having the desire and motivation to keep going out. It can be slightly daunting to go out when you know you've got 5 straight hours of finding ahead of you. But I was trying to keep a positive attitude. It was never a question of whether I would go out or not. I don't stay in the flat. I just had to force myself. I was tired and just felt blah.

I prayed for strength to be able to make it through. I needed help just to get out the door on Saturday and get on my bike. I didn't know what to say to people or how I could keep going but I did. I know it's only because God was helping me. Almost 5 minutes after we left to go out we were talking to a man on the street and he said we could come over later that night to teach him. So not only was it a new “gator” but something we could do that night instead of just straight finding.

Then we were able to have some beautiful conversations with people, who didn't become “gators” but they had a very positive and uplifting experience with Mormon missionaries. God is so good to me. I didn't think I would be able to make it through the night, but He blessed me to be able to make it; one step (or pedal really) at a time. It turned out to be a great night.

This was Saturday and so that night I prayed for help. I thanked Him for His help that day but I also poured out my heart to God about how I wanted to be able to feel the drive that I usually do. I pleaded for the help and strength I needed to be able to know how to overcome this little hurdle.

Then church came. First of all it was amazing because Haylee came to church even though we hadn't had a lesson all week! She said that she wasn't going to stay for the whole 3 hours at first but then she ended up staying and saying that we could have a lesson with her after lunch! It was amazing.

The other thing that was a miracle was that God provided me with the perfect lesson for my pleadings the night before. We had a combined lesson and it was on New Year’s resolutions. (speaking of, if you haven't watched the New Year’s Mormon message go watch it now. It's so good.) That wasn't the part that really stood out to me though.

We talked about the talk and watched two of the Mormon messages by Elder Christofferson called, "Give Us This Day Our Daily Bread." Michelle sent that talk to me a long time ago and I loved it but I needed to hear it again and the way it was presented helped me so much. I realized that it was ok that I wasn't feeling like I could conquer the world at the moment. I just needed to get through the next day, the next hour.

I also realized, that while I don't particularly like this feeling of needing help to do every little thing it helps me grow. I realize that I can't do this on my own and I get to feel even more strongly of God's guiding hand in my life.

I realized how much God has blessed me on my mission to learn this several times over. I can't even count how many times I’ve felt helpless on my mission. I knew that I didn't know what the investigator, my comp, or I needed. I had to rely on God. I have had to go into lessons, contacting, and meetings hand in hand with the Lord because I knew full well I couldn't do it on my own. I didn't have the wisdom or the strength. I feel so grateful to have learned that and to continue to learn that.

It also gave me the motivation to keep going and pushing forward, no matter what. God will give me the strength. I don't have to focus on the time I have left, but just on the next day, the next hour, the next minute if need be.

This is what has and will continue to help me gain a real relationship with God. I know Him. He loves me. I feel than when I pray, especially in those times where I know I'm at the end of my capacity and I have to fully rely on Him. He doesn't always boost me with heaps of energy or wisdom, but sometimes just enough to light the path and keep me praying the whole time for what I or other's need. There were more things I learned and I hope you've all read the talk/watched the Mormon messages. They're incredible.

The lesson then concluded with the bishop’s remarks. He talked about how they have been struggling with cancer and many other things but that sometimes when we pray for the big miracle we don't get it, but when we look for the little miracles and tender mercies we can always find them. He said that on the lowest point (the day before Christmas Eve) God sent them a miracle. Us. We were doing some caroling and we stopped by their house. It didn't make logical sense because we were going there the next night for dinner, but something kept telling me that we should go there so we did. He said they knew it was God telling them that He loved them and was watching out for them.

God is good. He knows and loves each of us. He cared enough about this family that He sent us to their house caroling even though it wasn't logical. He changes me. He sanctifies my offering, no matter how big or small it is, depending on my capacity at the moment.

I am thankful for the growth and the change that comes on a mission and that has come for me because my mission hasn't been a breeze. I am thankful that I have had to rely on God because I have developed a deeper and more real love for Him. I know that Christ lives and is with us as we reach out to Him to "give us our daily bread."

I love you and miss you all. I could not be happier to be out here! I hope you have a wonderful new year! HAPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR! (As dad would say)

Love you heaps,

letter.thirty.nine 12.22.13 ^God, am I broken?^

Oh what a week it has been! It started out as a fairly normal week. We went on exchanges and I went to Thornlie, which was fun, but when I came back Sister T told me that they went to teach Dolly and she told them that she had a problem with tithing. They apparently had a pretty bad lesson with her because her friend was there. Tithing was the thing that stopped Gennie in Halls Head from getting baptized so it brought back all of these painful memories. I started to get really nervous, but as I prayed before I studied for her I remembered 2 Timothy 1:7;

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

I realized that the feelings of fear were from Satan and that I needed to rely on Christ. I felt peace as we went to teach her. We taught well and by the Spirit. By the end she was feeling better about tithing but then she said she couldn't come to church. She had to come this Sunday and the next in order to be baptized on the 3rd. I was so sad. We had to push her date back, which is always a little nerve racking because you don't want investigators to think it's ok to just keep pushing it back. But I was trying really hard to rely on God more. So I accepted it.

We had a lesson with Haylee Saturday evening and she was excited to come to church and even telling everyone in her family that they needed to come. I felt so blessed to have her because it helped ease the pain of Dolly’s situation.

Then Sunday morning came, Haylee's grandma came, but she didn't. That meant that her date would have to be pushed back too. There were some family issues and she was tired from not getting much sleep so she didn't come. I was heart broken. I sat there as church was about to begin and I wanted to cry.

All of my old doubts and insecurities came creeping back. “What is wrong with me?” “Why is it that I keep having investigators fall through?” “What was I doing wrong?” “How come other people got to teach investigators who got baptized?” Then I remembered all of the experiences I've had in the past and how much I have learned from all of them. I knew I needed to change my attitude, so I prayed and asked God to help me know what I was supposed to learn from this. If there was something I needed to change, I wanted to change it, but I really wanted to know what I was supposed to learn.

I had two experiences that helped me overcome this. One was during one of the talks at church. This mum, who has an autistic son, said that they had races at school and he came in last, by FAR. She said he came up to her and asked if he was broken. I realized that's how I felt. I was asking my Heavenly Father if I was broken.

She then talked about how as a mother this broke her heart. I thought how Heavenly Father must feel as I ask the same question. He feels my pain. He doesn't want me to think that way because He sees me like this boys mum does, for my efforts not for my shortcomings.

She then went on to say that the next year in the race they gave him a huge head start. He still was going to loose to one boy who is very fast, but instead of winning this boy slowed down and they crossed the finish line together. Then her son struggled to get up to the podium and this boy helped him up and they stood up there, arm in arm, together. It was a victory for both.

That is how it is with Jesus Christ. To start off with He gives me the biggest head start of all, but then even still it's only because of Him that I cross the finish line and then whenever I do see "success" I know that it's only with Him that I got there. We stand together, arm in arm because that's how we got there. 

The other was as I just opened my scriptures and turned to John 15. The first verse I saw was verse 5 that says, "without me ye can do nothing." I felt so clearly that I needed to stop thinking about what I was doing because I was doing my best. I know that I have been giving my all and now I just need to rely on Christ. I try to do too much on my own and I rely on my own wisdom and abilities, but I was reminded again that I need to rely on Christ.

All of John 15 really touched me and I wish I could give you a verse by verse break down of what I felt with each verse because each had such poignant and personal meaning to me and my situation.

One that I would like to share is verses 1-2. It talks about how Christ is the vine. That is one of my favorite titles of Christ because He is the thing that makes us anything. Without a vine a branch is completely useless. As a missionary, no effort that I make on my own is worth anything. It's when I do it with the spirit that it means something and changes people.

Then it goes on to talk about how when branches bear fruit that He "purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit." I felt like these verses were written just for me. It was as if Christ were saying to me, "Sister Tanner, why do you keep trying to do this on your own? I am the vine. I am what gives you the strength and sanctifies your offering. So what does it matter to you if you are being purged at the moment? I know what I'm doing. I am going to help you produce even more fruit and I'm doing this because I love you. It may hurt now, but it's for the better. Trust me."

I felt an overwhelming love from Him. I just want to trust Him and rely on Him. I may not have the blessing that some missionaries get of having a lot of "success" but it's because God knows exactly what He is doing with me. He's preparing me to be able to bear even more fruit. I don't know what that means. It may not come until I'm a mother but I know I'm being prepared for greater things. God has made that clear to me again and again. I know that the hurt I've felt is absolutely essential for my growth and development. It doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong, but rather that God loves me enough to test me and I'm so grateful.

As I have reflected on my mission today I realized how much I have grown because of my experiences. I wouldn't trade them for the world. They have refined me.

Something President Lindsay always says is "As we act in faith and obedience God is with us in the work." I know this is true. He doesn't say that then we get baptisms, but that God is with us. I know it's true because I have felt it. God has been with me. I felt it so strongly today. He is watching out for me. He has my eternal progression in mind and I'm so thankful for that. He knows me better and is perfectly mindful of me.

Now please don't get me wrong as many often do when I talk about experiences like this. While I might have been hard on myself for a minute there I changed over quickly. Of course I still struggle with being too hard on myself, I practiced doing that my whole life, but I have changed so much. I am able to recognize it and stop it by praying for help.

I think hurting is good. Hurting is an opportunity to remember and rely on the Lord. I don't tell you any of this to make you feel sorry for me, but in order to help you see how grateful I am for God and for the refiner's fire that He so loving puts me through, but holds my hand throughout the whole process.

I love you all so much. I am so thankful to be on a mission at this Christmas time. I have never felt the joy of Christmas so acutely. I want to change the way I celebrate the Christmas season for the rest of my life. Making it so much less about the perfect gifts, or me but helping others have the best gift, which is my heart. I know it's the best gift because that's what I have received this year from all of you and from countless others here in Perth.

Especailly Sister T, I could not be more thankful to be with anyone else on my Christmas away from home. She is incredible. We have become so close. We have experienced so much heartache and so much joy together and she has become one of my closest and dearest friends. Some things are meant to be, and this is one of them.

I love you all. Merry Christmas. I hope it's a beautiful day and I cannot wait to see you all! Best. Christmas. Present. Ever.

Heaps and heaps of love,

letter.thirty.eight 12.16.13 ^in the sun she melted, melted, melted...^

Another good week has come and gone. First of all, it just keeps getting hotter and hotter. I honestly don't know how it does but it's getting to the point where it's hard to sleep at night because it never cools down and all we have is two bad fans. We've also had to bike quite a bit in the heat too. But I love it all because it makes me feel like a real missionary; you know those moments where I can really "suffer in silence" as dad would say. It's great! Definitely a different Christmas experience then ever before. I LOVE it! (Although I won't be sad to have a white Christmas again next year.)

 

our "Christmas lights"

In spite of the heat we've been able to have some amazing teaching opportunities this week, which I'm really thankful for. We've been meeting nearly every day with Dolly (87 year old baptismal date.) She is incredible. I love her with all my heart. She wants to get baptized so badly. She came to our ward Christmas BBQ (doesn't that just sound weird together? Christmas and BBQ?) and she loved it and got to know some lovely people. She thought she wasn't going to be able to make it to church though because her son was coming to visit again, but after a long chat and a lot of prayer she was able to arrange it with her son to come later. She loved church! She kept talking about how she was excited to come next week and that everyone was so friendly! It was perfect. God is so good to us.

Things are going super well with Haylee as well! She loved mutual this week and she loved church! She is amazing! She's even going to FSY (like EFY.) She super excited about everything, including her baptism! I feel so blessed. AH!!! I think it's really going to happen with these two. 3rd of January... it's going to be a great way to start out the New Year. Pray for them. We're trying to do everything right and I think even their agency won't get in the way:)

 

Sister T and I with Haylee and her Grandma.

Other than that it was a fairly average week. We've been very busy with teaching appointments, which is a high-class problem. I love it!

Also, this ward is amazing. I love the Como ward. They are all so loving. I think probably every person at church came up to me today to make sure I was ok after being sick last week. They were all so worried that we'd been transferred out and told us again and again how happy they were to see us back. They are so good to us. We already have our appointments set up for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I feel so overwhelmingly blessed. If I don't get to be with you all for Christmas, then I'm glad to be here in this ward and with Sister T. I love her SOO much! We get along like we've been friends since the beginning of time. She's an amazing missionary and hilarious. God is so good to me.

Oh yes, we were also able to watch the Christmas Devotional and it was incredible. Different, but I liked it. I actually cried through the whole end of it. I can be such a souk. (cry-baby) It was beautiful. When they were singing "Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains" I could just hear dad singing his bass part like he always does and then of course I cried even more. ha I'm ridiculous sometimes.

I don't know if I already told you this but we have been singing heaps lately, to everyone, and it has been the most beautiful experience. We usually sing “Silent Night” and honestly it's not that good. We're fine but it's nothing too special, but people either cry or at least freak out. They go on and on about it. We actually sang for Jeff (baptismal date a while back from America, but just went back to the states but he did say he still wants to get baptized when he gets back! boom baby!) Anyways, he actually asked if we could do it again and he recorded it. The angels in heaven must be helping us out.:) God is so good to us. Especially in this Christmas season when it should be hard to be away from family, but it actually hasn't been too bad because of all the love I have felt from and for people.

Here is the recording he made of us singing;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-sY-gJpjHA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I am thankful for this time of the year when people are more open to hear the "glad tidings!" And I'm even more thankful that I get to declare it. What a privilege it is to be a missionary at this time of year.

I love you all. I am thankful for your example and prayers. I need them. I love you all dearly! Merry Christmas you nuts! Well except dad, he's a turkey. "Everybody knows, a turkey!" haha I think of that every time we listen to that song. But let me tell you dad, you're one heck of a turkey.

Love you!

letter.thirty.seven 12.09.13 "feels like home to me"

Where to start!? This week was madness! I LOVED it! We had some really great finding opportunities. We talked with everyone and we ended up finding some amazing investigators!

At one point we were passing by this little old couple that Sister L and I taught before, they are the sweetest people. We stopped and said hello. I had just been thinking about them the other day because when we taught them before we sang for them and they both cried and loved it. They went off about how beautiful our voices were. I thought they might forget us though, because they didn't want to change so we didn't continue teaching them. But they both came out to talk to us. They went on and on about how much they loved my voice, and me, since they didn't know my comp yet. They turned to me and said, "I don't think you realize the impact you had on us. We will forever love you and never forget you." It was such a sweet moment. They treat me like their family and they don't even know me, but I feel an immense love for them. We sang them Silent Night and they both started crying again and then they invited us back and we ended up singing for their 100-year-old neighbor! It was a beautiful experience! I love Christmas time, even if it doesn't feel like Christmas time at all. We've been singing to everyone that will let us and almost all of them cry. The Spirit is amazing. You can tell that it's God singing for us.

Then Saturday was the best day ever. Oh my goodnight! I don't know if you remember me talking about a less active family we tracted into, but we've been out of contact with them for a while because they've been busy, but we were able to get a hold of them on Saturday. The mum said that she has a granddaughter that knows nothing about God but would like to so she invited us over to teach her. We had an amazing lesson with her. In the middle of the lesson she said, "I just want to get baptized!" Ummm, HALLO! Can you say golden?! We set a date with her for the 3rd of January! It was incredible. She's so excited about it and she's only 15 but her family is excited about it and actually invited us over for Christmas day. God is so good to us!

Then we went to teach a little old lady whom we met on the street. She's 87, but so so spunky. She used to be in show business and you can tell. She is always acting out her stories from her life and making these crack-up jokes. Oh my goodness I love her! I want to be just like her when I'm old. Anyways we had a great lesson, as we taught her she was shocked because she said after her research of the Bible and her experiences with God those are the same things that she has come to know to be true, but everyone thinks she's crazy. She said missionaries from other churches have come around before, but she said when we were talking with her she felt something different. She said that when we taught it felt like she was coming home. She's been searching so long for the truth and now she's found it! We set a baptismal date for her as well on the 3rd of January! A 15 and 87 year old on the same day, kind of cool to have both ends of the spectrum. God is so good to us.

The ward had a wedding at the chapel and they had heaps of extra food so they called us to come get some. I ate some of the food and drank a bit of fizzy and it upset my stomach. I thought it was just that I hadn't had fizzy in a while so it upset me. Nope. I got food poisoning... I was up most of the night in the bathroom. I felt so nauseous. It was gross. But I wanted to go to church so badly because our investigator was coming for the first time. I was determined. I got up and showered and it was awful. My whole body was aching. My skin was so sensitive that it hurt when my wet hair touched it. Weird eh? I laid down in my room and prayed for God to help me to get to church for our investigator’s sake because I knew otherwise I shouldn't go. Then the phone rang. Our investigator’s son had surprised her and came to visit so she couldn't come to church. I felt like God was telling me to stay home. So I did. It was no fun. I wish it wasn't that way and she would have been able to come. Plus, I hate missing church and staying in the flat all day; so boring and a waste of time. But I couldn't leave.

The Elders gave me a beautiful blessing though. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Heavenly Father told me that I had done the right thing in staying home and I didn't need to feel guilty (God knows me so well.) Then He told me that He was pleased with me as a trainer and who I have become as a missionary and who I was becoming. You know me, I worry about that. I've gotten much better but I do worry sometimes that now I'm being too easy on myself, but it was so nice to hear that God is pleased with me.

I've also been struggling a bit lately feeling like others must think there is something wrong with me because I don't get baptisms. I know that's a silly thing to think, but sometimes it's hard not to think that way when each month they send the mission newsletter with all the baptism photos and I'm never in there. I don't want baptisms so other people will think I'm good, but I don't like people thinking that there is something wrong with me either. In the blessing Heavenly Father also said that, even though I haven't been seeing the kind of success that I would like, He is pleased with me and knows that I am doing my best.

It was so nice to hear that. I really have been doing so much better with not being hard on myself but Satan still works hard as ever to get me to doubt myself. I'm thankful for an all loving and all understanding Heavenly Father. I'm also so grateful for the priesthood. It's been a long time since I've had a blessing and it felt nice. Although I think next time I'll just ask for one instead of getting food poisoning first. ha. But I'm feeling pretty much better now and hey I lost almost 2 kilos that's like 4 lbs. Fast, but terrible way to loose weight.

I love you all. I'm so grateful to have a beautiful family who loves and supports me. I'm thankful for your examples of righteousness. It helps me continue to move forward and endure to the end.

Love you heaps!