letter.eight 05.20.2013 "roos and views"

Ann and her Aussie companion. (introducing her to Australian delights)

A consecrated missionary.

This week I have really been trying to become a consecrated missionary because when my companion and I talked to the zone leaders (who are AMAZING, seriously so inspiring) that's how they said they have so much success as missionaries. I have also been trying to work on being completely humble. I can struggle with getting too defensive sometimes but I realized that's all part of being a consecrated missionary. It involves putting my pride, along with EVERYTHING else, on the table and saying to God, “ok here is what I can offer you, my time, talents, things I've learned, my heart, etc” and then letting Him use them as HE wants to, not as I want to. Sure I have learned a lot of great things but I shouldn't be using the things I have how I want to. I need to let God use them however He wants and let Him develop the things that He wants developed.

Baptism from Sister Tanner's first week in Australia.

 As I have done this, and no I have not even come close to being perfect at this, (It's a process.) I have noticed the tender mercies that God has given me in GREAT abundance. That's one of the things I learned from studying humility in PMG. Being truly humble is recognizing that EVERYTHING is a tender mercy. Here are some of those tender mercies I experienced.

On Sunday we sang a duet of “I Know That My Redeemer Lives” in Sacrament meeting. It was one of those experiences where God really was our voices. I feel so blessed that He allowed me to experience that, that He was generous enough to let me be His voice. I have felt His tender mercies through lessons this week too. I can feel when it's the Spirit talking and not me. Those are the lessons that are amazing. Not because I'm amazing, but because God allows me to be an instrument in His hands. He allows me to feel His love for His children that I'm teaching not because I'm worthy of it, but because He is merciful.

Then after Sacrament meeting, a sister came up to me and told me how beautiful the song was. Then as she was hugging me she pulled back and told me that when I was singing she could see me as a mother. She told me that she saw a glimpse into my future and that I was going to be a great mother. We were both crying. God is so kind to me. How could she have known that that is a concern of mine? She couldn't. Only God could and so He allowed her to see that so that we both could be blessed.

Then our investigator that is supposed to be getting baptized had a really bad experience in Sunday School. We spent all of RS trying to help restore the damage. I felt so frustrated. I was trying so hard to be a consecrated missionary. I was fasting for that. I was praying earnestly. Then I realized, being a consecrated missionary means doing all of that regardless of what the result is. I don't do it for baptisms but so that I can be who God wants me to be and touch the lives that God wants me to touch.

 

Halls Head

Then a family in the ward invited us over for dinner. This was my first member dinner since I had been here and it was amazing. God is so kind to me. They were a wonderful family. They filled a void that I didn't even know was there. I left their house and on the drive home I was in tears because my love and gratitude to God and to this family were over flowing. I have felt that so much on my mission. The love I feel for people is almost exhausting. I feel so blessed for that tender mercy as well. God allows me to feel His love for others and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I was feeling sad last night that these feelings would end after my mission and I felt a very distinct impression that this doesn't have to end after my mission. It will be different, but I can continue to love people with all of my heart and to experience God's love for them.

God has been so kind to me. I love you all. I am amazed by your examples and I can feel your prayers and support. It means so much to me to be able to think of each of my older siblings and their missions and Jenna and Dad's missions and Grandpa Tanner and Twitchell. I have a legacy of incredible missionaries that have gone before me. It buoys me up and makes me want to be better. I love you and I'm praying for you.

Australian food.

Trying Vegemite. (said it wasn't bad)

roo!

more roos.

Halls Head.

First meat pie. (says they're Amazing)