This week was GREAT! I loved it! In
zone meeting this week we talked about the Book of Mormon and how it helps us
and our investigators become more converted to Christ. They had my companions
and I give training, which I am really thankful for, because I learned so much
from doing it. The spirit of the whole meeting was amazing. It motivated me to
use the Book of Mormon much more effectively.
Another thing they mentioned is that
Elder Hamula told President when he was visiting, that if our mission wants to
reach the next level we need to cleanse ourselves. They specifically talked
about obedience and things that I already do, but it stuck with me.
This week we were, again, struggling
to find investigators. Part way through the week I prayed very long and hard to
Heavenly Father. I told Him that I wanted to cleanse myself. I wasn't sure what
it was He wanted me to improve on, but I was willing to do anything. I felt an
impression of something small I could do to give more of myself to God. It's
something I've been trying to do my whole mission, but has been hard for me, but
I committed to Heavenly Father that I would and I could not be happier. Now
that I have let go more of my will and given it to God I can't stop smiling! I
felt light. My companions laughed because I was so excited while we were
tracting. Nothing seemed to get me down. We even were able to find two new
gators! It was so amazing. God is so good to me.
Then on Saturday I had a bit
of freak out. It was over something dumb, but I felt so upset about it and then
I made too big of a deal of it. I felt so bad. I prayed and asked for Heavenly
Father's help and felt better.
Then on Sunday after a
great day was almost over, I got upset over something silly again. I chose not
to be humble. Then I was so frustrated with myself. I was apologizing to my
companions and I just felt so acutely my weakness and shortcomings. I felt like
it must be such a burden for them to be my companions and that they must hate
it, I gave into Satan's trap. Then I felt bad for that too because I thought I
was getting better at not being too hard on myself. I started crying and went
into another room in our flat by myself.
I knelt in prayer and had one of the
most powerful experiences I have ever had with prayer. I felt God's loving
patience so acutely. I felt angels around me who not only were there to bear me
up, but that loved me. I felt a closeness to heaven like I've never felt
before. God was with me. It became a sacred spot for me. There, kneeling beside
an old beat up couch.
I am so thankful for not only a God,
but a loving Heavenly Father who watches out for me. And even though that experience was painful in the beginning I
am thankful it happened because it helped me build my relationship with God. He
is so good to me.
I love you all. I hope that this week
is a great one for you all!
Heaps of love,
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