Monday, August 19, 2013

letter.twentyone 08.18.2013 ^An Instrument In The Hands Of The Lord^


I had another great week here in Western Australia! We had exchanges this week and I was able to go to Murdoch university with Sister L (from China! how cool is that?!). It was AWESOME! Working at a university is incredible. Although when I first walked in the library it made me kind of miss studying at BYU. Didn't think that's what I would miss. It was just weird because it smelled JUST like the BYU library, but I got over it real fast. The students are so receptive and we were able to teach some incredible lessons. Sister L is on her last transfer and she's an excellent teacher. I was able to learn a lot from her. I think I benefit more from these exchanges than the sisters do! I love being able to learn different ideas from so many different sisters! It's amazing. We were also all able to contact people at an open day there. We set up a booth and we would talk with everyone who passed by and invite them to sign up for missionaries or a bible study class or FHE. SO many people were interested and it's the best way to get over any fears of contacting! Ah! I loved it!

The next day we were able to do a companionship study with another set of sisters who have been struggling. One of them has really wanted to go home.  She doesn't realize how great she really is. I was able to pull her aside and chat with her a bit. I talked to her about Dr. Taylor that I have been talking to and at first she had the same reaction that I did. She thought it was weird and embarrassing, but she and I have a really good relationship and I think she realized that if I could do it she could do it. I was able to tell her that she wasn't alone in thinking a mission is hard. She was one of the people that was told that missions are just amazing and they're like skipping in the sunshine. So it's been a real shock for her; especially because she's only been a member for about 3 years. She doesn't see how good she really is, but I think I was able to see more of the goodness that she has. I also felt strongly how much God loves her. I know that part of the reason that I have experienced the things I have was so that I could help her see that it's ok to need to talk to someone. Oh goodness I love her!

Speaking of Dr. Taylor I chatted with him again this week and we're actually going to be chatting less and less because I have been feeling GREAT! Not because everything has gone perfectly, but because I'm really learning how to “eat the carrot and throw away the whip”! I love it! He reminded me of some great things that I think a lot of people would disagree with, but I think he's spot on. He talked about how just because an area is struggling it doesn't mean the missionaries are bad. There are so many more factors that play too big of a role. It all comes back to just not comparing. Just measure yourself against yourself and the effort that YOU put in. Progress is what matters. Ah! I love it. It's hard to actually change my way of thinking to this, but it's happening slowly and I can already feel incredible effects!

Another cool experience of this week was on Saturday. We had all of our appointments fall through in the morning and people are not very fond of us knocking on their doors at 10am on a Saturday, but we really needed new investigators so we decided to tract. We prayed for a street and got out of the car to walk there and we saw a former investigator that we've been trying to catch up with since I came here. I only talked to her because I am really trying to talk with everyone, but I didn't think much would come of it. Oh me of little faith. She told us that she had kicked all of the bad people out of her house and that she had been praying and that she was ready to learn from us now! We have been working so hard and we have honestly had very little number success, which is ok, but I started crying when she told us that. Not like full on crying, but just wet eyes and I could feel so strongly that God loved her AND us! It was amazing!

I was also able to sing at a baptism on Saturday. That was an amazing experience. Singing is by far my favorite way to share the gospel because God really takes over and I can feel Him making my voice more than it is on my own. I can't even describe it. Music touches people's hearts in a way that nothing else can. I think I love it the most because I know it's not me. I know that without God, my voice would be nothing, but with my voice God touches people. He is the reason that the Spirit was there. I love that I get to literally be an instrument in God's hands.

And despite all of these incredible things that happened this week Satan tried his hardest to get me down. He tried to get me to compare and look down on myself. The punk. I wanted to give in, but I remembered the things that I have learned. I wasn’t going to let Satan poison the good that was happening. I'm glad he tried though because it gave me an opportunity to put into practice the things that I learned.

I learned today in my Book of Mormon reading that even Moroni compared himself sometimes! He asks God why he can't be mighty in writing like the brother of Jared, not because he wants people to think of him as awesome, but because he wants to help more people come unto Christ! He is also a little worried that the people may laugh at him. Turns out Moroni is human and I can totally relate to him. I just want to be better so I can help more people, but I loved the Lord's response to Moroni expressing his insecurities. He says,
"Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness."
It doesn't matter if we're not as good as someone else because the meek or elect will listen and His grace is sufficient so that they won't be able to take advantage of my weakness. Then the Lord goes on to say that as we come closer to Him He will show us our weakness so that we can stay humble and so that we can improve. That's what it's all about! Improvement and progression come as a result of falling short. God is just keeping me humble and helping me to progress. It's a beautiful process. I am so thankful for the Savior’s grace. I couldn’t do it without Him. I am grateful that I'm not the perfect missionary because it's through the times that I fall short that I learn the most and I truly rely on the Savior and my relationship with Him is strengthened.

My testimony has been richly blessed through the experiences that I have had with others this week. As I mentioned before I have been able to see people for who they are and their efforts more this week. I have felt God's love so much more fully because of this. I can feel more of the intense and unconditional love that He has for all of His children. It is amazing to me. I felt that during my Book of Mormon reading today too. God told Ether to go and try again with Coriantumr because God loves him. Ether went and Coriantumer still rejected God's servant. As a missionary I pray to be sent to the elect and that is a good thing. Sometimes I get frustrated that I end up being led to a lot of people that aren't interested or who are but don't get baptized. I realized today that God loves His children so much that He may lead me to some so they can have the chance to have a better life. They may use their agency to not accept that, but God will still lead me to them because He loves all His children perfectly. I know that this means that He loves me perfectly and He doesn't get impatient with my imperfections, but encourages me to continue to press forward and use my agency to become more like my Savior.


I love you all and hope you MAKE it a great week! 



ps I have been having trouble sleeping and last night I was awake for about two hours so I decided to read the Ensign with a torch while I laid in bed. It was a blessing in disguise because a lot of the things I read were answers that I have been seeking! You should all read this ensign! It's AMAZING, especially the one on teaching and the one by Elder Oakes about revelation. SO good. :)


No comments:

Post a Comment