Holy Toledo! I am LOVING the mission! This is amazing. Whoever said the MTC was bad must have been here for longer than 12 days ;) I love it. It's stinkin' hard though. I don't think I was able to comprehend before what made a mission so hard, but I think I'm starting to get it. It's not something that can be described, just experienced. But what's more amazing is that I'm so grateful that it's been hard. That's what has made it great.
I feel like I have become a completely different person. I didn't know it was possible to grow so much in so little time. I have an amazing "compangie". I love her with all my heart. She and I are so similar but also so different. We get along really well together. My district has 6 sisters and 6 elders. I love them all. I honestly wasn't sure about the elders at first. I thought they were going to be super shy, but they have all opened up and I truly feel like they are some of my greatest friends now. They have all been very accepting of me and my strong personality and emotional instability ha ha ha. Sad, but true. Remember how I never cried before...yeah, that changed, fast. My eyes have been like unto waterfalls ha ha. The sisters in my district are incredible. They are all so beautiful! I'll send pics in the mail probably because I forgot my memory card. They all have strong testimonies and knowledge of the Gospel. I feel like I learn almost as much from them as I do from my teachers, who are amazing by the way. Brother Dickey and Sister Lamplough will forever hold a special place in my heart. They have truly been angels sent to bear me up.
So stressful to not have enough time to write you about every detail because this experience has been amazing, but I think I'll just write a few of the miracles, tender mercies and special moments.
Honestly, one of the biggest tender mercies for me has been my teachers, especially Brother Dickey. He is so in tune with the Spirit. It's unreal. One day (no idea exactly when things happen...the days all mesh together) Brother Dickey was teaching us about the importance and power of reading the Book of Mormon with your investigators. It made me really discouraged because I can never remember scriptures and I thought that might come when I was teaching, but as I have been teaching it hasn't been coming. So Brother Dickey was giving us a break and I asked him if I could talk to him. I told him how I was feeling, that I could never be an effective missionary without knowing scriptures and of course I started weeping...typical Annie right there. And he sat me down with me and told me about how he's stuttered his whole life and he hoped that it would go away when he served because God would bless him with that. Then he realized as he was serving and it wasn't going away that only when the desire of his heart changed to wanting to help the investigator would that gift come..and it did but only in the times when the INVESTIGATOR needed it. That was really helpful.
Then 2 days ago was really hard for me. I just kept messing up. I felt like I was never an effective teacher. I was trying to be humble and teachable but I just couldn't teach. I was only getting negative feedback in one of our zone teachings and that's when I finally lost it...again. My companion and I went to class and Brother Dickey pulled me aside and talked to me. He said exactly what I needed to hear. He helped me realize that it didn't matter who thought I was a good missionary except for God. He had me kneel and pray with him and I felt God's love and acceptance so strongly. Then he proceeded to tell me that he felt like I had the gift of charity. Such a tender mercy. I have been working on that for so long and I didn't feel like I had progressed very much. He talked to me about how helpful that will be on my mission, how it will bless people. It's like he knew what was said in my setting apart or something...it was God using him as a mouthpiece. He also talked about how God didn't give me that gift for my sake, He only gives us gifts to bless the life's of others. Amazing.
That wasn't even CLOSE to everything.
PS: I'm super sick. So hard to learn when you're coughing your lungs out and your brain is fuzzy, but the Lord has really blessed me.
Love you.
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