"judge not that ye be not judged"

I don't claim to know a lot, but having lived for nineteen years I have learned a few things. Recently I've thought a lot about judging. It's something that I have struggled with myself and I think it's one of the hardest commandments to follow because it's so much a part of so many of us. We all have different things that we judge people for. For some it's the way people dress, for others it's the way people speak. There are millions of different things that different people judge others for.  Some people even judge others for being too righteous. I honestly can't think of anyone that I know that isn't entirely void of it; it's part of the natural man.
Being judged by others is hard, especially when it's people you really care about. One thing that I have done to handle this better is to take it in stride. It doesn't matter if people think that you should do things differently because it is ultimately your choice. We all need to decide for ourselves what we think is right and wrong. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that you should ignore what others say because a lot of older people really do know better. What I'm saying is that they don't always know what is right for you and that is what is bad about judging. No one knows exactly what is going on inside someone's head. They don't know why they do the things they do. Therefore, it is never their place to judge. I'm not saying you can't observe what others are doing and think to yourself that you don't agree with what they are doing, that is righteous judgement, but I do think that it isn't our place to look down on them because of it. It is much more important to be love.
I think college helped me see how bad it is to judge even more clearly. I was around a lot of incredible people, but we all have different standards in different areas. Things that I felt like need to be followed very strictly others didn't and vice versa. I've found that that seems to be one of the mail causes of judging. We all have different ideas but that does not always mean that one way is right or wrong. That has been the biggest help to me in not judging others. I'm still not even close to perfect at it, but it has helped me a lot.
Judging is a nasty trap of Satan's that can ensnare event the best of us. It's something that I want to try to avoid even more in my life so that I can become more like our Savior who was the best example of this to ever live. And what's more is I want to work on not letting the sting of offense and hurt that accompanies someone's judgement of me to ruin a day or especially a friendship. This is my life. I have felt my Savior's love telling me that he is pleased with me and that is more than enough because he is the ultimate judge and as long as a try a little harder every day to be a little better I think I'll be just fine.

the parting of ways

When I graduated no one warned me that graduating doesn't just hurt then. You say your goodbyes to people and it hurts. I knew that was coming. What I didn't know is that the hurting doesn't stop. I thought as soon as I went to college everything would be great because I would make all new friends and forget about the people I knew and loved in high school. I was wrong. Even though I made many new friends they couldn't altogether fill in the gaping hole in my heart. How I ever thought that I would be able to replace the people that I had known for so many years is a mystery to me. So many of my friendships were more than just a friendship, it was love. Not in the romantical way, but in the pure, beautiful way. I realized that I cared more about these people than I ever thought possible. They were like my family and you don't just say goodbye to family and then forget about them. It's just not that easy. The smallest things would remind me of them. What was even harder was the ones that were gone on missions so that they weren't just a phone call away. There were times when all I would have to hear is a song and I thought my heart would rip out of my chest.
It may seem that I'm being ridiculous because no one in high school could have formed that many close bonds with people, but I truly did. I had the unique opportunity to be a Student Body Officer at my high school. At my high school there were nine of us SBO's and we worked our tails off. We were in charge of a lot of events that we spent thousands of hours working on. I literally spent my entire senior year with them and because of this they became my family. They would not have been the family I would have chosen for myself, not that I didn't love all of them, I just didn't know how each one of them could effect me in such a different, but important way. Heavenly Father knew that I needed them in my life. Looking back I can see His hand in every step of the way.
I grew to love these people with all of my heart. I knew pretty much everything about them and they knew everything about me. I had a lot of other close friends from before, but it was different with the SBO's. We had a bond that I can't even describe. Sure, we had our hard times and we definitely didn't always get along. Not even close. But I think that is part of what made us close. We weren't faking it for each other. We were the real deal with each other and we loved each other regardless. I think that is the most powerful lesson I learned from SBO. I learned that people could love me for me. I didn't need to try to be something I'm not. That fact changed who I am today. I am a much happier person because of it.
It may seem random that this post is coming now, but I have been trying to cope with the hurt all year. It was hard for me to even look at the current SBO's pictures on Facebook because I was so jealous of the memories that they were making. Not that I wanted to go back to high school because I didn't at all. I just missed the times that I had had and I knew that it would never be the same. Earlier today I saw my senior yearbook on my floor so I decided to look at some of the notes in it. When I was looking at the ones of my SBO friends I felt that deep pain again and I knew that I had to come to so resolution because I didn't want to hurt anymore, but as I wrote this I came to a realization. The pain is worth it because I have the memories. I wouldn't take those back for the world. I am ready to fully embrace the new life that I have and to look back on those times with pure delight. Yes, there will be times of pain, but I can take it. How blessed I am that the hurt I feel is missing the good times I have had. Rather than hurting because I never had them at all.

just for me

I made this blog for me and me alone. If anyone chooses to read it then so be it, but you will not find eloquence or wit. I just wanted a journal with pictures and this is the easiest way. I'm not a writer and that's what has been holding me back from starting this, but since I made this just for me I don't have to worry about that.  So here goes nothing!